Computer Crash

“Forest of the Dead” is an episode that left me so thoroughly perplexed that I had to see it several times to even begin thinking I understood it. I can honestly say that no installment of the new series (or even classic Who for that matter) confused me as much as this one and if that earns me the nickname “Thick as a Whale Omelet Ruediger,” then so be it. I asked for some help from fellow Who/Moffat enthusiasts Steven Cooper, Peet Gelderblom and Chris Hansen, three people whom I figured could help me get to the bottom of it all. They did help, were full of insights and opinions and their words are as important to recap as anything I’ve got to say. Yet another viewing helped, too, and I’m starting to believe the story is either not as complex as I’d originally thought, or it’s so obtuse that I’m never truly going to see the bigger picture.

Read the rest of this week's Doctor Who recap by using your sonic blaster to click here and visit The House Next Door.

Absolutely Fabulous: Absolutely Everything

With Sex and the City being all the rage at the moment, you’re no doubt tired of your wife or girlfriend talking about it, annoyed at having been dragged to the movie, and perhaps sick to death of handing over the remote control so she can repeatedly view the episodes on DVD. If you understand what Manolo Blahniks and Cosmopolitans are, but cannot grasp why anyone should care, then Absolutely Fabulous is the cure you can share with your significant other. AbFab, as the seasoned vets call it, was perhaps even part of the inspiration for Sex and the City, but the difference is that all the little trinkets and icons are mocked rather than hailed, and the main characters, Edina Monsoon (Jennifer Saunders) and Patsy Stone (Joanna Lumley), don’t realize they’re part of the joke.

Read the rest of this DVD review by clicking here to visit Bullz-Eye.

Spoilers!

The name Steven Moffat has been the stamp of quality on Doctor Who scripts over the past three seasons, so it’s easy to go into “Silence in the Library,” the first of a two-part story, with high expectations. Further, since Moffat was recently named the series’ new showrunner (beginning in 2010), viewer expectations are perhaps even a bit higher for this story. He certainly doesn’t waste any time putting his dramatic flourishes on the piece. The story begins with a little girl (Eve Newton). She appears to be in therapy with a Dr. Moon (Colin Salmon) while her dad (Mark Dexter) lingers in the background. In her mind exists a fantastical library the size of a planet. She peacefully floats around the silent library, seemingly the only patron. The silence is suddenly broken by a loud banging from the other side of a pair of doors. The girl is alarmed. The Doctor (David Tennant) and Donna (Catherine Tate) bust through.

The Doctor: “Hello! Sorry to burst in on you like this. Is it OK if we stop here for a bit?”

To read the rest of this recap, click here to quietly talk with the librarian at The House Next Door.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl: Season One, Ep. 1

I've started blogging the new Billie Piper series, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, for Premium Hollywood. It started on Showtime this Monday and will presumably continue on for the next seven weeks as the first season is only eight episodes long. Surprisingly, it isn't nearly as exploitative and trashy as I expected.

From the first recap:

As a Doctor Who fanatic, Secret Diary of a Call Girl was initially an easy sell. After watching Billie Piper as Rose Tyler for two seasons, I’ve since been game to watch her in just about anything. Sitting down and actually seeing Piper unveil her dual lives of Belle the prostitute and Hannah the typical London girl was a different matter entirely. There was something incredibly dirty about seeing her lube up her private parts, masturbate with a vibrator in front of a client, and ride another while he wears a saddle. It’s just so not Rose Tyler.

Read the rest of the recap by clicking here to visit Premium Hollywood.

Doctor Who: Beneath the Surface

In 1970, Doctor Who went through a period of massive change. There was a new Doctor, a new companion, a new production team, and the show was (for the first time) being broadcast in color. Perhaps most important to its texture, the title character was stranded on Earth in the late 20th century, working as a scientific advisor for the military organization UNIT. All of these changes combined to create a radically different take on an established series that had been running successfully for six seasons. Time and space travel was put on hold for a couple years, and instead of the Doctor meeting alien creatures on distant planets, they were showing up in his backyard.

Read the rest of the review for the "Beneath the Surface" DVD box set by clicking here to visit Bullz-Eye.

Standard British Birds and Bees

I’m sure I read an interview with Russell T. Davies some time ago where he referred to “The Unicorn and The Wasp” as “the first comedy we’ve done.” I put that in quotes because that’s what I recall him saying, but I’ll be damned if I can find the piece now. It probably doesn’t matter, but it does seem the aim of the episode is to be a comedy—well, a comedy and a murder mystery peppered with ample doses of sci-fantasy. The episode worked better on the second viewing, yet I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I’m beginning to tire of this brand of Doctor Who story. I’ve got plenty of respect for Agatha Christie’s body of work, but I’ve never read any of her books—pathetic, but true. I grew up reading Doctor Who novelizations written by Terrance Dicks—also pathetic, but true.

To read the rest of this very brief recap, click here and head over to The House Next Door.

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Daughter Cloned

As a title, “The Doctor’s Daughter” conjures up exciting possibilities, but as an episode it leaves the viewer wanting more. Is it surprising that the daughter in question is in no way “long lost” or any other sort of melodrama? Not really. Anything more concrete would be a massive intrusion on the overall narrative, and taking both fact and rumor into account, this season probably doesn't need another such element. Instead she’s an instant genetic descendant of the Time Lord—created in the first minutes of the tale. It’s a disorienting moment, too, because it’s so unbelievable, even by Doctor Who standards. The Doctor (David Tennant), Donna (Catherine Tate), and Martha (Freema Agyeman) arrive in some sort of underground bunker. Within moments of stepping out of the TARDIS, a group of young soldiers appear out of nowhere, grab the Doctor, and thrust his hand into some sort of machine. The Doctor deduces it’s taking a tissue sample. Seconds later, two doors slide apart and out steps a beautiful blond girl, dressed like Farscape’s Aeryn Sun.

Martha: “Where did she come from?”

The Doctor: “From me.”

Donna: “From you? How? Who is she??”

The Doctor: “She’s…well…she’s my daughter.”

The Girl: (smiling) “Hello Dad!”

Adopt your cloned child by clicking here to read the rest of this piece at The House Next Door.

The Grand: Complete Collection

It would be easy to assume The Grand is some kind of stuffy, British period drama, if not for one thing: It’s created and (mostly) written by Russell T Davies of Doctor Who fame, a sign that it might not be what it seems. The Grand is certainly a period piece, though it can hardly be described as stuffy. What it is, more than anything else, is a soap opera -- but it’s a classy, addictive soap offering up bold, surprising storylines and at least a dozen complex characters over the course of its 18-episode, two-season run.

Read the rest of this piece by clicking here to head over to Bullz-Eye.

I don't want to set the world on fire...

In the comments section for “The Sontaran Stratagem,” Joan wondered why at the close of the episode “…no one thought to break the window of the car while Gramps was asphyxiating.” And so “The Poison Sky” begins with Donna’s mother, Sylvia, doing just that. It’s a huge anticlimax for the cliffhanger, but I would argue that the whole point of a cliffhanger is in the hang, not in the resolution in the next episode. Cliffhanger resolutions almost by their very nature are destined to suck, because if our heroes succumbed to the disastrous situations they’re left in, there would be no more show. We always want the resolve to be as thrilling as the minutes that preceded it in the narrative, but there’s a big difference in the first couple minutes of an episode, and the final moments of another. And there’s no point in delivering the best you’ve got at the start, right?

Read the rest of this piece by clicking here to visit The House Next Door.

Doctor Who at the 2008 Film & History Conference

2008 Film & History Conference
"Film & Science: Fictions, Documentaries, and Beyond"
October 30-November 2, 2008
Chicago, Illinois
www.uwosh.edu/filmandhistory
Third-Round Deadline: August 1, 2008
AREA: Doctor Who

Doctor Who first entered the public consciousness on November 23, 1963, as a new science fiction serial on the BBC. Listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Longest Running Science Fiction Television Show, the serial is a national institution in its home country - the subject of countless pop-culture references -and a popular export to American public television stations. As a televised serial, Doctor Who has exhibited features dared by few others, from its controversial content, to its public ranking in the 1970s as the most violent programming produced by the BBC, to the serial's constant re-casting of the leading man, the adventurous Doctor, whose alien biology conveniently allows for regeneration.

These controversies and innovations, along with the evolution of a complex "Whoniverse" of audio stories, novels, and entries in various other media(the "canonicity" of most of which is still in question), not only have turned the enigmatic Doctor Who into a cult figure but have interwoven time and history through grand adventures that address issues of human existence and the meaning of civilization. The newest edition of the series, which continues the storyline/timeline from the original, often features the Doctor interacting with historical figures (and making wry commentary on current events in the process) and explores more deeply the dilemma of the Doctor as a lonely traveler who will generally outlive any human companion who joins him or who falls in love with him.

The Doctor is clearly a man of science, yet his function on the show is often God like, with occasional explicit references to him as a Christ-figure. How does the Doctor's dual role comment on the role of science in society? In its peregrinations through human events, what does the show say about the construction of history? What does it say about national/British identity in the new millennium or about the uneasy relationship between Western empiricism and theological mysticism?

Papers and panels are invited on the topic of the Doctor Who series. Possible topics include but are not limited to the following:

Cultural commentary and trans-historical morality tales
Issues of and intertextuality and metafiction
Historical figures and the depiction of historical events (and the Doctor's role in them)
The role of technological innovation and special effects
Fan cultures
Gender and sexuality
Psychological models
Canonicity of other media
Use of guest stars/actors
Religious imagery and allegory
The role of visual technology (including film and television) in the show's content

Please submit all proposals by August 1, 2008, to the area chair:

Professor Christopher Hansen
Baylor University
Department of Communication Studies
One Bear Place #97368
Waco, TX 76798
254-710-4464
christopher_hansen@baylor.edu

Submissions by email are encouraged.

Panel proposals for up to four presenters are also welcome, but each presenter must submit his or her own paper proposal. Deadline: August 1, 2008.

This area, comprising multiple panels, is a part of the 2008 biennial Film & History Conference, sponsored by The Center for the Study of Film and History. Speakers will include founder John O'Connor and editor Peter C. Rollins (in a ceremony to celebrate the transfer to the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh); Wheeler Winston Dixon, author of Visions of the Apocalypse, Disaster and Memory, and Lost in the Fifties: Recovering Phantom Hollywood; Sidney Perkowitz, Charles Howard Candler Professor of Physics at Emory University and author of Hollywood Science: Movies, Science, & the End of the World; and special-effects legend Stan Winston, our Keynote Speaker.

For updates and registration information about the upcoming meeting, see the Film & History website.

The Muppet Show: Season Three

Cracking open a new season of The Muppet Show on DVD means two things: loads of Muppet madness and an eclectic cross-section of guest stars. The former can always be counted on to just be what it is, while the latter are the wild cards of each episode. I remember as a kid being generally unaware of who most of these people were, but, then again, kids were probably not really taken into the equation when the show was booking star acts. The guest stars provided a framework for the Muppet chaos and, more importantly, gave the adults in the viewing audience something to hook into; otherwise, it’s doubtful the show would’ve lasted for five years in syndication. Since I’m now an adult, the guests are usually the most interesting part of revisiting the series, because it’s such a kick to see how each guest’s talents are used…well, and also because “Pigs in Space” tends to get repetitive.

If you don't have a hand up your ass, then click here to read the rest of this review at Bullz-Eye.

Only One Cook in the Kitchen

It was worth sitting through months of American Idol this season just to watch this guy win tonight.

His journey wasn't too shabby either. Nice seeing a cool Missouri boy take the big prize.

Mr. Potato Head

"Sontarans are great… I think that's partly because they come from a very specific world. That back story gives them a great context. Robert Holmes didn’t just create a race, back in the 1970s: he created a world that they came from. Even if you never saw that planet, you understood why they did what they did." — David Tennant, Doctor Who Magazine #395

I hate to contradict our Time Lord and Savior, but he’s ever so slightly off in his close. It’s not that we ever understood why the Sontarans did what they did, but rather that Holmes’ vision of the race was so clear that we accepted what they did without question—and that was make war (not love). The “why” could make for a good story someday, but at present their reintroduction is plenty.

Read the rest of this piece by clicking here to clone yourself at The House Next Door.

Indiana Jones: The Adventure Collection

Surely the only movies that would be more pointless to recap than the Indiana Jones trilogy are the original Star Wars trilogy. Everyone’s seen the Indy films time and again, and countless consumers already own the first DVD box set. But that hasn’t stopped Paramount from reissuing them in preparation for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Unlike Episodes IV through VI, the Indy flicks can more or less work on their own and this time around Paramount gives buyers the option of purchasing the entries individually, or together in this set. The box packages the three discs in slimline cases, and it’s weird to have such a noteworthy chunk of movie history reduced to the size of a VHS tape (you remember those, don’t you?).

Best way to pimp the "other" trilogy is by offering up my thoughts on the DVD re-release. Click here and head over to Bullz-Eye to read them.

And by all means set two hours of your time aside between May 22nd and the 25th to go check out Indy's latest adventure...but show your kids the trilogy first.

The Ood Abides

“Planet of the Ood” is a really strange episode (and yes—I had to restrain myself from describing it as odd). I don’t know if anyone was exactly crying out for more Ood, but since they played second fiddle to the Beast in “The Impossible Planet” two-parter, they’re a logical choice to revisit, as we didn’t get to know all that much about them. What we did learn about them is explored in greater detail here and it’s nice to see that they remain benign creatures so long as outside parties don’t abuse them through ulterior motives.

A Booming Commercial Voiceover: “The Ood! They came from a distant world. They voyaged across the stars. All with one purpose…”

The picture zooms into an Ood holding a cup of tea.

Ood: “Do you take milk and sugar?”

Reclaim your secondary brain by reading the rest of this piece at The House Next Door.

The Backwoods

Comparing The Backwoods to either Deliverance or Straw Dogs probably does it a disservice, even though it’s clearly inspired by both. It’s unfortunate, too, because without those early 70s classics lurking in the background, it would seem far more shocking. (In fact, it will probably play much better to those who’ve seen neither of those films.) As if to pay further homage, it’s even set in 1978 -- although that could simply be a means of avoiding cell phones. Cell phones are such a given these days that when movie characters in peril don’t have one, we immediately wonder, “Where’s his cell phone?” The idea of cell phone technology even being available to the characters in The Backwoods would bring the entire affair crumbling down.

Read the rest of this DVD review by clicking here to visit Bullz-Eye.

Everybody Must Get Stoned

“The Fires of Pompeii” tinkers with a spot in the season where similar installments have been little more than clever dives into pseudohistory. Don’t get me wrong, “Fires” is by no means an accurate account of what went down when Mount Vesuvius erupted, but since the populace of Pompeii went along for the tragic ride, the episode manages to cover its ass. It features no historic figure (i.e. Dickens, Queen Victoria or Shakespeare); instead, the event itself is the figure. It also hints at events to come, further develops the new Doctor/companion relationship, and features effects work that’s outta this world.

Read the rest of this article by clicking here to get stoned at The House Next Door.

Sleestaked!

My love of all things Sleestak got a mild boost today when USA Today published this shot from the upcoming Land of the Lost movie. Now I've been wary of this film since it was announced, and I've still got massive reservations about it. The article that accompanied the shot did little to ease the discomfort. As expected, the film's going to be played for laughs, and since it stars none other than WF, it was always likely that was the way it was going to go. Unlike most of the other Sid & Marty Krofft shows, there's nothing intrinsically funny about the concept. It was often well written sci-fi given its targeted Saturday morning kid audience, and the David Gerrold-helmed first season in particular is worth trying to take seriously if you can get past the often hokey acting and cheesey effects. (I've often said that my interest in the show at age five paved the way to Doctor Who when I became a teenager.) Interestingly, by the third season, both Wesley Eure (Will) and Kathy Coleman (Holly) had matured into pretty good actors...but unfortunately by that time the show's scripts had also devolved into utter nonsense. In a perfect universe, Land of the Lost would be reimagined as a serious sci-fi TV series with good actors and big budget effects. If Battlestar Galactica can get a new lease on life, then with the right visionary at the helm, anything's possible.

Yet in all fairness to a film that I've yet to see, some of director Brad Silberling's words give me a vague hope that the finished movie might at least be something that Land of the Lost fans can laugh along with, rather than feeling as though the concept is being laughed at. One thing's for sure - those Sleestak look incredible!

Don't forget to check out the previous Morgue entry, Sleestak: An Appreciation, if you missed it when it was published last year.

A Slim New You

After more or less trashing “Voyage of the Damned” last week, it’d be all too easy to start a trend by picking apart Season Four’s first proper episode, “Partners in Crime.” The series has followed a predictable pattern with its season openers. They’re romps that acquaint (or reacquaint) the lead characters. The antagonist threat seems mild in comparison to typical Doctor dilemmas. There’s always an emphasis on humor, some mild social commentary, loads of running around and an easily resolved finale. “Partners in Crime” does adhere to the formula, but last week I stated “…Who should, at the very least, recycle the old into something vaguely new.” Where “Partners” succeeds is in its mild tweaking of the norm. If the season continues playing with established formula (which I’ll try to address in the coming weeks), then it could end up the best batch of episodes yet.

Read the rest of this piece by taking the pill offered at The House Next Door.

Abe the Babe

My ongoing quest to find hot nudie shots of Abe Vigoda on the internet has been a fruitless endeavor. There aren't even any decent fakes, which mystifies me. I mean, can there possibly be a better use for Photoshop than to at least create the illusion that Vigoda's goods are on display for all to bask in? (To do it myself would destroy the fantasy.) The travesty to the left is not only an insult to Abe's studlinesss, but it doesn't even make any sense. Abe in drag!?!? It's just not funny, and flies in the face of his quiet masculinity.

Anyway, I inadvertently stumbled across something on YouTube today that comes closer to fulfilling my dreams than anything else I've encountered. Strangely, I wasn't even looking for His [B]Abeness at the time - I was doing a search on Bea Arthur. It's a parody sketch of Sex and the City, starring Maude as Carrie Bradshaw. Sally Struthers, Katherine Helmond, and Charlotte Rae round out the rest of the self-centered foursome. (My feelings about Sex and the City are a whole different entry, but suffice it to say, I hate those bitches.)

But as I viewed the video, imagine the beats my heart skipped when it played its trump card in the closing seconds: Fish himself as Mr. Big.

While it's a huge tease and a massive shame that he doesn't appear au naturel, the idea of Abe banging Bea Arthur over and over throughout the night is enough to fuel my fantasies 'til the end of summer.

See the video for yourself by clicking here, and you'll no doubt know the feelings I'm experiencing as I type.