I don't want to set the world on fire...

In the comments section for “The Sontaran Stratagem,” Joan wondered why at the close of the episode “…no one thought to break the window of the car while Gramps was asphyxiating.” And so “The Poison Sky” begins with Donna’s mother, Sylvia, doing just that. It’s a huge anticlimax for the cliffhanger, but I would argue that the whole point of a cliffhanger is in the hang, not in the resolution in the next episode. Cliffhanger resolutions almost by their very nature are destined to suck, because if our heroes succumbed to the disastrous situations they’re left in, there would be no more show. We always want the resolve to be as thrilling as the minutes that preceded it in the narrative, but there’s a big difference in the first couple minutes of an episode, and the final moments of another. And there’s no point in delivering the best you’ve got at the start, right?

Read the rest of this piece by clicking here to visit The House Next Door.

Doctor Who at the 2008 Film & History Conference

2008 Film & History Conference
"Film & Science: Fictions, Documentaries, and Beyond"
October 30-November 2, 2008
Chicago, Illinois
www.uwosh.edu/filmandhistory
Third-Round Deadline: August 1, 2008
AREA: Doctor Who

Doctor Who first entered the public consciousness on November 23, 1963, as a new science fiction serial on the BBC. Listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Longest Running Science Fiction Television Show, the serial is a national institution in its home country - the subject of countless pop-culture references -and a popular export to American public television stations. As a televised serial, Doctor Who has exhibited features dared by few others, from its controversial content, to its public ranking in the 1970s as the most violent programming produced by the BBC, to the serial's constant re-casting of the leading man, the adventurous Doctor, whose alien biology conveniently allows for regeneration.

These controversies and innovations, along with the evolution of a complex "Whoniverse" of audio stories, novels, and entries in various other media(the "canonicity" of most of which is still in question), not only have turned the enigmatic Doctor Who into a cult figure but have interwoven time and history through grand adventures that address issues of human existence and the meaning of civilization. The newest edition of the series, which continues the storyline/timeline from the original, often features the Doctor interacting with historical figures (and making wry commentary on current events in the process) and explores more deeply the dilemma of the Doctor as a lonely traveler who will generally outlive any human companion who joins him or who falls in love with him.

The Doctor is clearly a man of science, yet his function on the show is often God like, with occasional explicit references to him as a Christ-figure. How does the Doctor's dual role comment on the role of science in society? In its peregrinations through human events, what does the show say about the construction of history? What does it say about national/British identity in the new millennium or about the uneasy relationship between Western empiricism and theological mysticism?

Papers and panels are invited on the topic of the Doctor Who series. Possible topics include but are not limited to the following:

Cultural commentary and trans-historical morality tales
Issues of and intertextuality and metafiction
Historical figures and the depiction of historical events (and the Doctor's role in them)
The role of technological innovation and special effects
Fan cultures
Gender and sexuality
Psychological models
Canonicity of other media
Use of guest stars/actors
Religious imagery and allegory
The role of visual technology (including film and television) in the show's content

Please submit all proposals by August 1, 2008, to the area chair:

Professor Christopher Hansen
Baylor University
Department of Communication Studies
One Bear Place #97368
Waco, TX 76798
254-710-4464
christopher_hansen@baylor.edu

Submissions by email are encouraged.

Panel proposals for up to four presenters are also welcome, but each presenter must submit his or her own paper proposal. Deadline: August 1, 2008.

This area, comprising multiple panels, is a part of the 2008 biennial Film & History Conference, sponsored by The Center for the Study of Film and History. Speakers will include founder John O'Connor and editor Peter C. Rollins (in a ceremony to celebrate the transfer to the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh); Wheeler Winston Dixon, author of Visions of the Apocalypse, Disaster and Memory, and Lost in the Fifties: Recovering Phantom Hollywood; Sidney Perkowitz, Charles Howard Candler Professor of Physics at Emory University and author of Hollywood Science: Movies, Science, & the End of the World; and special-effects legend Stan Winston, our Keynote Speaker.

For updates and registration information about the upcoming meeting, see the Film & History website.

The Muppet Show: Season Three

Cracking open a new season of The Muppet Show on DVD means two things: loads of Muppet madness and an eclectic cross-section of guest stars. The former can always be counted on to just be what it is, while the latter are the wild cards of each episode. I remember as a kid being generally unaware of who most of these people were, but, then again, kids were probably not really taken into the equation when the show was booking star acts. The guest stars provided a framework for the Muppet chaos and, more importantly, gave the adults in the viewing audience something to hook into; otherwise, it’s doubtful the show would’ve lasted for five years in syndication. Since I’m now an adult, the guests are usually the most interesting part of revisiting the series, because it’s such a kick to see how each guest’s talents are used…well, and also because “Pigs in Space” tends to get repetitive.

If you don't have a hand up your ass, then click here to read the rest of this review at Bullz-Eye.

Only One Cook in the Kitchen

It was worth sitting through months of American Idol this season just to watch this guy win tonight.

His journey wasn't too shabby either. Nice seeing a cool Missouri boy take the big prize.

Mr. Potato Head

"Sontarans are great… I think that's partly because they come from a very specific world. That back story gives them a great context. Robert Holmes didn’t just create a race, back in the 1970s: he created a world that they came from. Even if you never saw that planet, you understood why they did what they did." — David Tennant, Doctor Who Magazine #395

I hate to contradict our Time Lord and Savior, but he’s ever so slightly off in his close. It’s not that we ever understood why the Sontarans did what they did, but rather that Holmes’ vision of the race was so clear that we accepted what they did without question—and that was make war (not love). The “why” could make for a good story someday, but at present their reintroduction is plenty.

Read the rest of this piece by clicking here to clone yourself at The House Next Door.

Indiana Jones: The Adventure Collection

Surely the only movies that would be more pointless to recap than the Indiana Jones trilogy are the original Star Wars trilogy. Everyone’s seen the Indy films time and again, and countless consumers already own the first DVD box set. But that hasn’t stopped Paramount from reissuing them in preparation for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Unlike Episodes IV through VI, the Indy flicks can more or less work on their own and this time around Paramount gives buyers the option of purchasing the entries individually, or together in this set. The box packages the three discs in slimline cases, and it’s weird to have such a noteworthy chunk of movie history reduced to the size of a VHS tape (you remember those, don’t you?).

Best way to pimp the "other" trilogy is by offering up my thoughts on the DVD re-release. Click here and head over to Bullz-Eye to read them.

And by all means set two hours of your time aside between May 22nd and the 25th to go check out Indy's latest adventure...but show your kids the trilogy first.

The Ood Abides

“Planet of the Ood” is a really strange episode (and yes—I had to restrain myself from describing it as odd). I don’t know if anyone was exactly crying out for more Ood, but since they played second fiddle to the Beast in “The Impossible Planet” two-parter, they’re a logical choice to revisit, as we didn’t get to know all that much about them. What we did learn about them is explored in greater detail here and it’s nice to see that they remain benign creatures so long as outside parties don’t abuse them through ulterior motives.

A Booming Commercial Voiceover: “The Ood! They came from a distant world. They voyaged across the stars. All with one purpose…”

The picture zooms into an Ood holding a cup of tea.

Ood: “Do you take milk and sugar?”

Reclaim your secondary brain by reading the rest of this piece at The House Next Door.

The Backwoods

Comparing The Backwoods to either Deliverance or Straw Dogs probably does it a disservice, even though it’s clearly inspired by both. It’s unfortunate, too, because without those early 70s classics lurking in the background, it would seem far more shocking. (In fact, it will probably play much better to those who’ve seen neither of those films.) As if to pay further homage, it’s even set in 1978 -- although that could simply be a means of avoiding cell phones. Cell phones are such a given these days that when movie characters in peril don’t have one, we immediately wonder, “Where’s his cell phone?” The idea of cell phone technology even being available to the characters in The Backwoods would bring the entire affair crumbling down.

Read the rest of this DVD review by clicking here to visit Bullz-Eye.

Everybody Must Get Stoned

“The Fires of Pompeii” tinkers with a spot in the season where similar installments have been little more than clever dives into pseudohistory. Don’t get me wrong, “Fires” is by no means an accurate account of what went down when Mount Vesuvius erupted, but since the populace of Pompeii went along for the tragic ride, the episode manages to cover its ass. It features no historic figure (i.e. Dickens, Queen Victoria or Shakespeare); instead, the event itself is the figure. It also hints at events to come, further develops the new Doctor/companion relationship, and features effects work that’s outta this world.

Read the rest of this article by clicking here to get stoned at The House Next Door.

Sleestaked!

My love of all things Sleestak got a mild boost today when USA Today published this shot from the upcoming Land of the Lost movie. Now I've been wary of this film since it was announced, and I've still got massive reservations about it. The article that accompanied the shot did little to ease the discomfort. As expected, the film's going to be played for laughs, and since it stars none other than WF, it was always likely that was the way it was going to go. Unlike most of the other Sid & Marty Krofft shows, there's nothing intrinsically funny about the concept. It was often well written sci-fi given its targeted Saturday morning kid audience, and the David Gerrold-helmed first season in particular is worth trying to take seriously if you can get past the often hokey acting and cheesey effects. (I've often said that my interest in the show at age five paved the way to Doctor Who when I became a teenager.) Interestingly, by the third season, both Wesley Eure (Will) and Kathy Coleman (Holly) had matured into pretty good actors...but unfortunately by that time the show's scripts had also devolved into utter nonsense. In a perfect universe, Land of the Lost would be reimagined as a serious sci-fi TV series with good actors and big budget effects. If Battlestar Galactica can get a new lease on life, then with the right visionary at the helm, anything's possible.

Yet in all fairness to a film that I've yet to see, some of director Brad Silberling's words give me a vague hope that the finished movie might at least be something that Land of the Lost fans can laugh along with, rather than feeling as though the concept is being laughed at. One thing's for sure - those Sleestak look incredible!

Don't forget to check out the previous Morgue entry, Sleestak: An Appreciation, if you missed it when it was published last year.

A Slim New You

After more or less trashing “Voyage of the Damned” last week, it’d be all too easy to start a trend by picking apart Season Four’s first proper episode, “Partners in Crime.” The series has followed a predictable pattern with its season openers. They’re romps that acquaint (or reacquaint) the lead characters. The antagonist threat seems mild in comparison to typical Doctor dilemmas. There’s always an emphasis on humor, some mild social commentary, loads of running around and an easily resolved finale. “Partners in Crime” does adhere to the formula, but last week I stated “…Who should, at the very least, recycle the old into something vaguely new.” Where “Partners” succeeds is in its mild tweaking of the norm. If the season continues playing with established formula (which I’ll try to address in the coming weeks), then it could end up the best batch of episodes yet.

Read the rest of this piece by taking the pill offered at The House Next Door.

Abe the Babe

My ongoing quest to find hot nudie shots of Abe Vigoda on the internet has been a fruitless endeavor. There aren't even any decent fakes, which mystifies me. I mean, can there possibly be a better use for Photoshop than to at least create the illusion that Vigoda's goods are on display for all to bask in? (To do it myself would destroy the fantasy.) The travesty to the left is not only an insult to Abe's studlinesss, but it doesn't even make any sense. Abe in drag!?!? It's just not funny, and flies in the face of his quiet masculinity.

Anyway, I inadvertently stumbled across something on YouTube today that comes closer to fulfilling my dreams than anything else I've encountered. Strangely, I wasn't even looking for His [B]Abeness at the time - I was doing a search on Bea Arthur. It's a parody sketch of Sex and the City, starring Maude as Carrie Bradshaw. Sally Struthers, Katherine Helmond, and Charlotte Rae round out the rest of the self-centered foursome. (My feelings about Sex and the City are a whole different entry, but suffice it to say, I hate those bitches.)

But as I viewed the video, imagine the beats my heart skipped when it played its trump card in the closing seconds: Fish himself as Mr. Big.

While it's a huge tease and a massive shame that he doesn't appear au naturel, the idea of Abe banging Bea Arthur over and over throughout the night is enough to fuel my fantasies 'til the end of summer.

See the video for yourself by clicking here, and you'll no doubt know the feelings I'm experiencing as I type.

Blake's 7...finally?

Here's a project that's been on and off again so many times, I'm skeptical about it coming to fruition - but maybe now the time is actually right.

From today's Hollywood Reporter:

LONDON -- Hoping to cash in on the success of classic sci-fi revamps such as the BBC's Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica, Sky One is planning to remake cult '80s space series Blake's Seven.

Sky has commissioned two 60-minute scripts with the intention of creating a new sci-fi series of the hugely popular show, which followed the intergalactic tales of a small band of rebel fighters struggling to evade the dark forces of the Federation.

Memorable for its cardboard sets and leather-clad arch villainess Servalan, the show was the creation of sci-fi legend Terry Nation, himself responsible for Doctor Who's arch-nemesis the Daleks.

Sky One commissioning editor Elaine Pike said Seven was "ripe" for a revival, which will be jointly exec produced by Andrew Mark Sewell at B7 Prods. Most recently the show was released as a successful series of audio books starring a modern cast including This Life star Daniela Nardini.

Revamped television formats have proved a huge success in the U.K., with a reworking of Doctor Who also generating original spinoff Torchwood. But the cultural politics of revamps can be tricky, said Sky One head of programs Richard Woolfe, who two years ago abandoned much-trumpeted plans to remake The Prisoner.

A Public Stoning

With the premiere of Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay looming on the horizon (it arrives in theaters on April 25th), we here at Bullz-Eye found ourselves considering some of our other favorites who’ve fired up on film over the years. Originally, we were going to have 15 entries, but after we hit 13 we just didn’t have the energy to do much of anything except lie on the couch and scarf some munchies. Go figure. In the end, though, we realized that all we had to do was slap a “G” in front of the number, and we had ourselves an instant tribute to the most legendary strain of cannabis in history. (It’s killer stuff, man. Not that we’ve had it ourselves, y’know, but Lester Burnham swears by it, and that’s good enough for us.)

Check out Bullz-Eye's list of 13 iconic cinematic stoners by clicking here.

Damned Doctor

The chefs in the Doctor Who kitchen get more technically ambitious with each new season, and the annual Christmas specials are appetizers dished up to satiate diners between the seasonal main courses. “Voyage of the Damned” is first and foremost a spectacle echoing the infamous disaster movies of the sixties and seventies (especially The Poseidon Adventure). Clocking in at 72 minutes, it’s the longest single episode of the new series yet. It also snagged 13.31 million viewers upon its Christmas day BBC broadcast – one of the highest figures in Who history and the largest audience for the new series so far. (I believe the number translates into something like 50% of the TVs in Britain being tuned in.) Clearly Doctor Who isn’t losing any steam as far as the general public goes, but aside from all the flashy effects, frenetic pacing and high profile guest stars, is “Voyage of the Damned” any good?

Read the rest of this piece by clicking here to collide with The House Next Door.

Bullshit

Battlestar Galactica - Season Three

If you’re not already into the Sci Fi Channel’s revival of Battlestar Galactica, Season Three is probably not a good place to start – unless you don’t mind being utterly confused and left feeling like you’ve arrived late to a very intense party. The season begins more or less where the second left off: The majority of the human survivors had settled on a habitable planet they dubbed “New Caprica,” and within a matter of months found themselves enslaved by the Cylons and living in less than humane conditions. At the top of the conflicted heap is the newly elected President Gaius Baltar (James Callis), who’s forced to aid the Cylons in their takeover for fear of his life. Meanwhile, somewhere out in space resides Galactica, with a patient Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos) at the helm, strategically devising a plan to rescue the New Capricans from their dire situation.

Read the rest of this DVD review by clicking here and visiting Bullz-Eye.

Doctor Who: "Planet of Evil" & "Destiny of the Daleks"

Two DVD reviews for your pleasure...

It’s been said that your first Doctor is your favorite, and that’s certainly true in my case. No matter how much I bask in the conviction of David Tennant, admire the intensity of Christopher Eccleston, or enjoy the straightforwardness of Peter Davison, Tom Baker will always be my Doctor. For American fans, similar feelings are often associated with their first Doctor Who story. Classic Who is so hit-or-miss that if the first show you tuned in was a weak offering, you may have never tuned in again. Late one summer evening back in 1984, “Planet of Evil” was on my local PBS station and after spending 90 minutes with Tom Baker and Elisabeth Sladen on Zeta Minor, I was hooked.

Read the rest of this DVD review by clicking here and visiting Bullz-Eye.

You’d think that a season of Doctor Who script-edited by Douglas Adams would be a high mark in the show’s long history, but you’d be wrong. Season 17, kicked off by “Destiny of the Daleks,” was Who at its campiest and most goofy. Sometimes the formula worked, sometimes not -- “Destiny” is somewhere in between. It’s a noteworthy story, however, in that it was not only the last Dalek-penned tale from Dalek creator Terry Nation, but also the last story he ever wrote for Doctor Who. It also featured Lalla Ward taking over the role of the Time Lady Romana, and it begins with a jokey Adams-scripted scene in which she regenerates into her new figure by literally trying on new bodies until settling on one that fits. If the sequence weren’t so damn witty it’d be embarrassing, and it’s emblematic of the type of high wire act Adams had a hand in playing the entire season.

Read the rest of this DVD review by clicking here and visiting Bullz-Eye.

A Real (Non)American Anti-Hero

IS

Can it be true? Read more here.

Terry Pratchett's Hogfather

The Hogfather is Santa Claus. He dresses the same and serves the same function, only he looks like a wild boar on two legs. This makes perfect sense given that Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather takes place on Discworld – a universe that’s alternate, but similar to our own. The Auditors – creepy, cloaked figures devoted to logic and reason – have put a hit out on the Hogfather. The Auditors are reminiscent of the Vogons from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. They’re slaves to bureaucracy, and the Hogfather (again, “Santa Claus”) represents the purest form of belief, which undermines the Auditors’ objective of keeping the world running in as uncomplicated a manner as possible. If it all sounds too far-fetched, give it a few minutes and you’ll embrace it as quickly as you accepted that Hogwarts was a school for young magicians in the Harry Potter series. In fantasy, some things just are.

Read the rest of this review by clicking here and visiting Bullz-Eye.