The Best of Fridays DVD review

Likely to appeal mostly to the over 40 crowd, “The Best of Fridays” brings to DVD for the first time 16 episodes of the short-lived subversive sketch comedy series that from 1980 to ‘82 set out to give Saturday Night Live a run for its funny. Noteworthy for jump-starting the careers of cast members Larry David and Michael Richards, the Los Angeles-based Fridays mirrored its New York cousin in nearly every way. Musical guests include The Clash (their network TV debut), KISS, Devo, Dire Straits and The Cars. Short films – some of which are made by and star Mike Nesmith – pepper the show’s perimeters. “Friday Edition,” featuring Melanie Chartoff, is the show’s newsy “Weekend Update.” Among the numerous special guests (the Fridays equivalent of guest hosts - who don't start appearing until the second season) are Billy Crystal, William Shatner, Karen Allen, and Andy Kaufman. Kaufman made Fridays history by staging a breakdown in the middle of a sketch and engaging in fisticuffs with announcer Jack Burns (the moment was recreated in the Kaufman biopic Man on the Moon starring Jim Carrey). The bit brought the series so much attention, he returned the next week for an encore. Both episodes are on this set.

As with SNL, the sketches are the real meat of Fridays, and though they sink as often as they swim, many remain pop cultural signposts of enormous nostalgic value. “The Best of Fridays,” which includes over two hours of cast and writer reunion interviews, is the only place to find a jaw-droppingly elaborate, 15-minute Rocky Horror parody lampooning the Reagan administration, entitled, of course, “The Ronny Horror Show,” featuring the late president in drag. Or how about a mash-up of Star Wars and Woody Allen, featuring Larry David as Han Solo and Michael Richards as Darth Vader, entitled “Star Wars Memories”? Yes, if you're of a certain age bracket, this collection is an instant trip in the way back machine to a time that you've all but forgotten, mostly because you were high on so many drugs - another topic Fridays revels in and is famous for. 

Larry David as Han Solo

Separated at Birth?

Snow Miser (voiced by Dick Shawn), from the 1970 Rankin Bass holiday special, The Year Without a Santa Claus, and the Third Doctor (Jon Pertwee)? 

If Malcolm Tucker was a Doctor...

Malcolm Tucker is a character played by Peter Capaldi on a British series called The Thick of It, which is very similar in tone and execution to HBO's Veep. Both series are created and co-written by the same man, Armando Iannucci, who's very clearly a master at creating artful vulgarity. Somebody, somewhere on the internet, created these panels which I happen to find endlessly amusing, so I'm reposting them here.

At the moment, The Thick of It is nearly impossible to find if you live in the U.S., but a couple years ago Iannucci refashioned the concept into a movie called In The Loop, which is very easy to get your hands on.

Updated on 08/04/2013!: So, not only has Peter Capaldi been cast as the Doctor (a casting decision clearly sent down by the gods of comedy and tragedy), but also, The Thick of It hits R1 DVD on Tuesday, the 6th of August, in a big, fat complete series box set (yes, it includes the two Christmas specials in addition to the four seasons and loads of extras).

Also, check out my new piece for Vulture, "Why Peter Capaldi Is the Ideal 12th Doctor" by clicking here.

Don't Believe Everything You See on Facebook, Issue #2

The meme this parodies is mercifully in its final death throes, but if you spent any amount of time on Facebook in the last couple weeks, you no doubt noticed this bit of obnoxiousness more than a couple times. If you spend a lot of time of Facebook, you watched it start out as a mild diversion and then grow into a behemoth clogging your newsfeed.

It wasn’t terribly clever, and it only seemed to be amusing to the people who were sharing it. It also sent a message that needs to be stamped out right here and right now: Most people – your family, your friends, your co-workers, etc. - are in fact not thinking about what you do, and that’s because most people are too busy thinking about themselves and what they’re doing or going to do, which, in turn, is exactly why this meme ran so fucking rampant. It’s a Catch-22 of massive Facebookian proportions. It presents the delusion that the rest of the world cares about your nonsense, when in fact, they just simply do not, as they are too busy caring about their own.

Oh, I hear your cries! “Lighten up, Ross! We were just having fun!” Well your fun is impeding my sharing and receiving of useful information, and it’s pissing me off. If Facebook is indeed a tremendous waste of time, this meme is entirely emblematic of why.

On the surface, this is good times and great oldies, but lurking beneath is something much more sinister (but let’s face it: oldies can be pretty sinister to begin with). I think the implication here is that our parents were somehow “better” than the parents of today (i.e. “us”) because they let kids run recklessly and didn’t think so hard about whether or not bones would end up broken. Fair enough, but it’s not going to convince me that there’s anything wrong with not wanting your kid to be rushed to the emergency room if it can be prevented with a little common sense.

More importantly, however, when my son was a preteen, I’d never have let him go out of the house wearing a half shirt like the kid in the background. I might also have advised him to not sit like Farrah Fawcett when someone nearby has a camera in hand. Take that, parents of the ‘70s!

I looked up other pictures of Gillian McKeith. There’s no question that she’s not as conventionally attractive as Ms. Lawson, but there’s also no question that whoever put this together chose the most unflattering photograph they could find of her. Had the following shot been used instead, the graphic wouldn’t be nearly as dramatic.

For the record, I’m a big fan of both exercise and butter (though probably not at the same time).

Yes, let’s use fictional people (from the ‘60s, no less) to attempt to prove some kind of idiotic point about marriage today. What was that? Oh yeah, they were based on some comics from the ‘30s! I’ll see your Gomez and Morticia Addams and raise you a J.R. and Sue Ellen Ewing.

This is such a prime example of liberal hubris, it must be called out. Something that really gets under my skin about Democrats is their inability to know when to just fucking stop; to realize when they’ve won. It’s like that guy who thinks he’s a comedian, but he’s not, because he’s unable to instinctively recognize when a joke has reached its end. Here, someone has put together an impressive list of accomplishments by Barack Obama. It would stand tall, proud and strong, but they just had to go ruin the entire message with that last sentence: “What did you do in the last three years at your job?” You know why I didn’t do any of those things at my job in the last three years? Because I’m not the fucking President of the United States, you sanctimonious asshole!

This is why I do not go to Superbowl parties. Don’t play with your food, especially when you have this much of it (and all of it so unhealthy!) Last month I realized that I’m invited to more Superbowl parties than any real holiday of the year. Are there really more people gathering together on that one day than any other? Come on, folks, take just half the dollars you’re putting into this nonsense and do something cool on Halloween. You know how many Halloween parties I was invited to last year? None. Me, of all people! It beggars the imagination, yes it does. 

Don't Believe Everything You See on Facebook, Issue #1

Oh, how I'd love to get behind this one, if not for the fact that the person who put it together was obviously stoned (in light of this, who knows if the facts are even correct?). Bad spelling, awful grammar, and terrible punctuation. This is an online nightmare. What's most amazing is that marijuana is spelled correctly not once, but twice! Anytime these little placards fail to get the basics right, I loathe them even if I agree with the message. Don't encourage bad writers to keep doing this stuff by passing their handiwork around! 

This one I totally agree with in sentiment, but the way it’s put together rather kills the whole point, because it’s an apples vs. oranges comparison. There’s no question that women are sold a “look” these days that’s unhealthy to attempt to reach and certainly to maintain. Necrophiliacs aside, few would find the top row attractive, which is why, on the surface, this works. But those pictures are stalkery, paparazzi-type shots.* Those women did not choose to be photographed in those positions, in those moments. They aren’t meant to be seen like this. This is seriously trying to convince me that Keira Knightly isn’t a bangable babe, yet I know better, because I’ve, like, watched her movies. With proper lighting and camera angles, they look fine, because that’s the business they’re in. The real problem is that everyone thinks they have to look like a movie star or a model these days to be considered attractive.

Conversely, the photos on the bottom row are clearly shot by professional photographers under ideal circumstances, so of course they’re more pleasing to ogle. It’s got nothing to do with the fact that they’re rubenesque or curvy or whatever term you want to use to describe them. I’m sure there was a surplus of moments in Marilyn Monroe’s life in which she looked like utter hell – it’s just that the paparazzi didn’t exist back then (at least not in the way they do today) to capture those looks. There also wasn’t much of an audience for that sort of gawking back then. People enjoyed believing the illusion of beauty more, I think, so they weren't so quick to tear it down. The top row of photos exists only because there’s now a public desire to drag our fantasy icons down to our level so we might feel better about ourselves, especially if it means making an actress like Kirsten Dunst look bad in the process. It needn’t exist if we simply recognize that we live in reality, and these people present us with illusion, and ne’er shall the two meet.   

*Or at least three of them are – who knows what that stupid bitch Heidi is up to? That girl could be photographed taking a massive dump and she’d be elated that someone was interested in what she was doing.

Folks still use the whole “let’s compare those who disagree with us to Hitler” tactic! It'd be amazing if it weren't so silly. This was huge a year or two ago with Obama, which showed how out of ideas his opponents really were. Indeed, stooping to the level of comparing the opposition to Hitler means you've lost your argument. Yeah, whoever put this doozy together is comparing the pro-choice movement to Adolph Hitler, and they have the gall to back it up with a quote from Dr. King. Because Hitler molested kitty cats and puppy dogs and King shit rose petals everywhere he went. This is a perfect quote for these people to use to try to get their point across, because it ignores all the variables in between their black and white view of the world. They’re welcome to it. It’s less offensive than it is predictable and boring, which is pretty much how I see rabid pro-lifers at this point. For those who are interested in the text these words came from (which of course had nothing to do with abortion), you can find it here, in King’s “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.”

This is one of the most unnerving bits I’ve seen on Facebook. Look closely at the photo. Study it for a bit. See it? Hint: It’s almost dead center.

Most people freak out over this. I'll admit it: I did, too. But why? It's not the fucking Ring 3. So there’s a black girl hiding between two Asian girls, and she managed to get into the shot. My reaction to this photo makes me feel incredibly racist. The only reason it’s at all scary is because she’s dark. Honestly, I don’t know what else there is to say, except that this photo should maybe be used as a litmus test to figure out how far we really haven’t come in the past 100 years as a society. Does it freak out black folks, too? If it does, is it then fine?

  

Speaking of being freaked out by black folks, this is problematic on several levels, but mostly it's grounded in no version of reality that any thinking person will acknowledge exists. To wit, I also don’t believe anyone who dares to pass this around is thinking about what the message here is when they’re sharing it. This is the snarky, online equivalent of the ostrich burying its head in the sand. (Careful about how you laugh, lest you choke on the sand.)

What folks who insist on passing this sort of thing around don’t realize - whilst giggling amongst themselves at the “funny,” or even worse, actually believing that there’s any truth to it - is that it’s this attitude that could very probably lead to the end of their party. It lends them zero credibility and speaks to the one thing that’s going to be the undoing of the Republican party, and that’s that it no longer stands for anything. Republicans don’t appear to like anything, or even believe in anything anymore. All they know how to do is oppose, and unfortunately that just isn’t the reality of the world we live in any longer. It’s not enough to oppose; folks gotta be doers as well.

So if this photoshopped bit of nonsense really means anything at all, the rubble Obama is surveying is the wreckage of the Republican party itself. And that’s sad, because this country needs them. We need differing points of view – debate! - to keep the U.S. moving forward. But a debate cannot merely consist of, in the immortal words of Messrs. M. Python, “the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.” For it to work, it must be “a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.” It isn’t just saying “no it isn’t.”

A Chat with Piers Wenger of Doctor Who

It’s important to understand the circumstances under which I interviewed Piers Wenger, one of the executive producers of the current era of Doctor Who, and it’s equally important to understand how I dropped the ball on this interview, which is a huge shame, because anyone who knows me knows I’m a freak for Doctor Who, and I’ve no excuse for botching this one.

Except that I do.

Well, maybe not an excuse, but certainly a reason, and one which leaves me with no one to blame but myself. The story which follows will, I hope, serve as a warning for all who read it.

The phoner between Mr. Wenger and I was scheduled for Monday the 15th at 11 A.M. I knew this well in advance, and even though I’m generally not at my best until post-noon, I anticipated no problems, despite the fact my 39th birthday was the day before. This in and of itself should not have been a red flag, as any celebrating I was going to do would be on Saturday night. By all counts, I’d be in fine shape for Monday morning.

Saturday night, however, is merely where it all started, as I gathered with friends at my favorite bar and commenced the celebration, making merry, drinking, and having a grand ol’ time. As the night wore on, the festivities moved to my friend Paul’s place, where I indulged, alone, in a specific spirit, one which was given to me as a gift that night.

Ouzo, the famed Greek aperitif that smacks of black licorice, is a curious mistress. It courts you in the early stages of the night, seduces you into surrender later on, and then, when you’re not looking, comes up and violently takes you from behind and doesn’t let go. Those crazy Greeks. Around dawn, when it was time to share a cab home, I had finished about ¾ of the 80-proof bottle…which, you’ll remember, was on top of all the drinks I’d had earlier in the evening. Upon arriving at my place, my wife wisely went to bed. I, however, stayed up, intent on finishing the Ouzo (not to mention some vodka that was sitting around), listening to music and watching Blu-rays. I‘m sure at some point I even put on the Doctor Who Season Five Blu-ray, and thought, “That interview with Piers is going to rock!”

Yes, there is an interview with Mr. Wenger, but to read it, you'll have to click here to visit Bullz-Eye, finish my story, and then read the interview.

For the record...

...I would like for it to be known that on 6/25/09, Ross Ruediger came up with the following quote:

"In the future, a celebrity will die every fifteen minutes."

This is going to be used over and over in the coming years, and I feel the need to stake my claim on it while it's still fresh.

The Marshalls (Season Three)

Brand new at Funny or Die is a wicked parody that blends two of my favorite shows into one 8 minute bit of madness. What would happen if Doctor Who materialized in the Land of the Lost - and specifically towards the end of the show's crappy third season? The hard-drinking Uncle Jack Daniels is unquestionably a highlight. From Philly-based filmmakers Beth Kellner and Scott Johnston, click here to view The Marshalls (Season Three).

Abe the Babe

My ongoing quest to find hot nudie shots of Abe Vigoda on the internet has been a fruitless endeavor. There aren't even any decent fakes, which mystifies me. I mean, can there possibly be a better use for Photoshop than to at least create the illusion that Vigoda's goods are on display for all to bask in? (To do it myself would destroy the fantasy.) The travesty to the left is not only an insult to Abe's studlinesss, but it doesn't even make any sense. Abe in drag!?!? It's just not funny, and flies in the face of his quiet masculinity.

Anyway, I inadvertently stumbled across something on YouTube today that comes closer to fulfilling my dreams than anything else I've encountered. Strangely, I wasn't even looking for His [B]Abeness at the time - I was doing a search on Bea Arthur. It's a parody sketch of Sex and the City, starring Maude as Carrie Bradshaw. Sally Struthers, Katherine Helmond, and Charlotte Rae round out the rest of the self-centered foursome. (My feelings about Sex and the City are a whole different entry, but suffice it to say, I hate those bitches.)

But as I viewed the video, imagine the beats my heart skipped when it played its trump card in the closing seconds: Fish himself as Mr. Big.

While it's a huge tease and a massive shame that he doesn't appear au naturel, the idea of Abe banging Bea Arthur over and over throughout the night is enough to fuel my fantasies 'til the end of summer.

See the video for yourself by clicking here, and you'll no doubt know the feelings I'm experiencing as I type.

Cheeseburger in a Can

If you're anything like me - and surely you must be, or else you wouldn't frequent a Morgue - the idea of a Cheeseburger in a Can is both revolting and intriguing. The fine, brave folks at The A.V. Club got their hands on one and gave it a taste test. Their conclusions are amusing to say the least. I'm still trying to figure out how there could be so many reactions to one tiny burger. They must have cut it up into some awfully tiny pieces. Perhaps that's all one can stomach anyway? I gotta admit, they've not turned me off entirely, and if a Cheeseburger in a Can ever rolls my way, I'll probably give it a shot.

Fucking Damon & Affleck

I have not seen Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" video, which seems to have been jokingly aimed at her beau Jimmy Kimmel. I've also not partaken in Jimmy's follow up retort to Sarah entitled "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck." It would be far easier and less time consuming than writing this post to just go find and watch them. But this might be more fun.

All four of the people involved in this joke are talented to some degree or other. Damon's a pretty damn good actor who most always manages to work within his limits, and in doing so more often than not comes away looking good, even if the movie he's in is shit. Affleck, on the other hand, got sucked into the machine in an ugly way, and ended up doing all manner of crap to keep people happy and himself on the radar. When reports of him drunk and hanging all over strippers in Vegas surfaced, I understood the guy; if anything I'd say he was well behaved. And after seeing "Gone Baby Gone" this weekend, he's got a gold star in my book. But as much as I liked it, he's acted in so much nonsense it's only starting to even out. Ben and I would probably get along fine, so long as he didn't expect me to play poker ('cuz he'd whoop my ass). His overall career is one thing he wouldn't have to worry about me bringing up. I get it. I'm sure he does. End of story.

Sarah Silverman's hot, but I don't find her all that entertaining. I get why other people find her funny, but I know that I don't. By the time Kimmel's show comes on, I'm either away from the TV, watching something on cable or DVD, writing, hounding the 'net, etc. I've got almost no opinion of the guy other than he seems jovial enough. He's good on the roasts.

So there it is. I can't be bothered to check out these gags which have seemingly entertained millions, because none of the four people involved move me enough to make the simplest of efforts. Yet clearly I'm so aware of these bits that I've been driven to write a meaningless entry on the subject.

I feel like I might be missing out. I wonder if I am. I suspect I am not.

You tell me.

Tae Kwon Don't

A bit that I hadn't heard in years is called "Tae Kwon Leap." My friend Jim played it for me when we were young and carefree (now we're just old and carefree). It's an incredibly funny piece in which this goofball interrupts a martial arts class with his stupid nonsense. All I really know is that it's by a Canadian comedy troupe called The Frantics and that it's some hee-larious shit.

Here's a text excerpt:

Ed: No disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take?

Master: Tae-Kwon-Leap is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

Ed: So like, what, an hour or so?

Master: No, no. We have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gruberman, you must learn patience.

Ed: Yeah, yeah, yeah -- patience. How long will that take?

Click here to download the entire audio bit. The file is only 2.71 MB and runs about 6 minutes.

(Thanks to the guy who's hosting this MP3.)

Come and get your love...

IMDB reports:

Lindsay Lohan is set to spend time in a morgue as part of her community service - in a bid to show the consequences of driving under the influence. The Mean Girls star, 21, was arrested twice last year on charges of DUI, and was sentenced to serve four days behind bars in August. She served just over 80 minutes in Lynwood jail in California in November, after a judge reduced the sentence and ordered her to carry out 10 days of community service - which she began in late last year with the American Red Cross. Her attorney, Blair Berk, told a judge on Thursday at a progress hearing Lohan will spend two four-hour days at a morgue, and will spend a further two days in a hospital emergency room. Lohan was not present at the hearing.

I would like to extend the invite to Miss Lohan to spend her time doing her community service here at The Rued Morgue. She'll be made quite comfortable and no doubt she and I will find plenty of ways in which can work off her debt to society.

Stern on Letterman (01/10/08)

One TV event that can always be counted on to deliver is a Howard Stern appearance on David Letterman. A huge part of why it works is because of Stern's ability to corner Dave on issues that he'd rather not discuss, and the ensuing discomfort Letterman ends up wallowing in. It's a sight to behold and the duo have never failed to leave me in stitches. There's a reason why Stern on Letterman appearances almost always last for three segments: because once Howard leaves, the show is all but over. Last night did not disappoint, however the strongest segment was the second (which you can see by clicking here). Stern riffs on Dr. Phil, Don Imus and Jay Leno with increasing comical prowess. It's clear Stern's got an agenda when he comes on the show and he knows what he's gonna say, but the guy's so good that it doesn't matter that it isn't entirely off the cuff. Often times one wonders who's interviewing who. It's must-see TV, even if you're not a fan of either guy. Even Paul Shaffer rises to the Stern occasion and whips out several zingers.

If you are a fan, then by all means check out Part One (where Stern pimps a genital cream and bitches about Oprah) and Part Three (where Stern speaks of his fear of vacations and gives Dave a hard time for not marrying his long-term girlfriend, Regina).

Watch these clips now because they may be gone tomorrow.

Upright Citizens Brigade - The Complete Second Season

It’s not the only way to pitch Upright Citizens Brigade to the uninitiated, but it could be the most truthful: this is a show for smart people who like to get high and laugh their asses off. The UCB seem to know this, too, and various aspects of drug culture find their way into the show’s second season, with an ongoing gag centered around the fictitious drug Supercool (which looks suspiciously like Pixie Stix) culminating in the final episode on this set. Of course, obtaining too much of a buzz could also result in getting a little lost along the way. Sketch comedy is rarely this meticulously plotted or strung together, and this material becomes funnier on repeated viewings, hence it is ideal for the DVD format.

Click here to read the rest of the review at Bullz-Eye.

Bein' a Dick

So what the fuck is Andy Dick’s problem anyway? Lately this guy’s been in the news more often than the lovely-and-IMHO-far-too-frequently-picked-on Lindsay Lohan. But with this cat, it’s always some obnoxious social faux pas travesty mixed with a healthy dose of freakshow. I’ve got nothing against Andy Dick and admit to actually enjoying the weirdness he adds to a Comedy Central Roast...but many people would be locked away in an institution for these types of ongoing shenanigans.

From CNN.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- David Stroupe said it was one of the worst experiences with a performer in the history of the Funny Bone Comedy Club.

He was referring to Andy Dick, a former co-star on the 1990s sitcom "NewsRadio," who appeared at the Funny Bone last weekend.

Stroupe, the club's managing partner, said the 41-year-old actor-comedian made inappropriate comments while on stage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

A limousine driver was to meet Dick early Monday morning at a hotel near the club, Stroupe said, but he couldn't be found and missed that morning's flight to Los Angeles.

Dick was across town, where he was issued a citation for urinating on the sidewalk by Columbus policeman John Fantin. Police eventually escorted Dick back to the hotel, Stroupe said.

So I ask again, what the fuck is wrong with Andy Dick?

A. He’s trying to live up to his last name.
B. He’s socially retarded and just doesn’t know any better.
C. Drugs and/or alcohol abuse.
D. Tourette’s?
E. He hates Hollywood and the way the machine operates, so he’s trying to break it down.
F. Between Roasts, he crafts inventive techniques for keeping Dick in the public eye.
G. It’s just good ol' fashioned performance art on a grand, tasteless scale.
H. All of the above.
I. Some of the above[1].
J. None of the above[1].

[1] If you chose "I" or "J", please elaborate on what the fuck Andy Dick’s deal is in the comments section below[2].

[2] If you are Andy Dick, please contact me so we can arrange an interview to get to the bottom of what the fuck is going on with you...over the phone, of course. I could probably handle a quick grope, but I gave up the golden showers thing years ago.

Vacancy

Vacancy, the new romantic comedy from foreigner Nimród Antal, isn’t quite as romantic as the ads might lead you to believe. What’s being billed as something of a cozy late night getaway between a married couple (Luke Wilson & Kate Beckinsale), actually falls more on the side of a Lifetime movie. David & Amy Fox have recently lost their child in some horrible “disease of the week” kind of affair, and in an effort to rejuvenate the waning passion of their relationship, they decide to take a trip to the idyllic countryside.

Out in the sticks, they find numerous pleasant distractions including -- but not limited to -- a kindly, flirtatious motel manager (Frank Whaley) who begins to court Amy. A jealous David seeks solace in their room’s erotic video collection. Before long there’s much dashing about and David much choose his wife or porn and Amy must choose true love or flowery romance. Vacancy seems to be headed for obvious reconciliation -- however the ending is more of surprise than I signed on for. Highlight the following for a massive spoiler: The Foxes split up at the end!

The Foxes are very likable characters and although the actors have some wonderful chemistry, ultimately I began to tire of their madcap brand of sweetness – farce and romance can be mixed successfully (Coupling always does it well), but you can’t throw a deceased child into the mix and have it comedically play out. It just doesn’t work. Whaley in particular was far too nice of a man and I really felt sorry for what happens to the guy as he was deserving of love. While the videos David watches in the room (repeatedly) definitely got me hot and bothered (heck, it’s almost worth recommending the movie just for those sequences alone), they really had no place in a PG-13 rated film such as this one (nor did Luke Wilson's ass). On the plus side, the script offers up quite a bit of sparkling dialogue and the wit is of a near "Three Stoogesque" caliber. And if you’re looking for a satisfying ending, Vacancy has not just one or two rooms open for business, but the entire motel.



This was The Rued Morgue's (belated) contribution to Lazy Eye Theatre's Bizarro Blog-a-thon.

Charlie Goes to Candy Mountain

I guess this little piece of animated bliss has been around for some time, yet it falls squarely under the heading "Hey it was new to me!" (Thanks to Jake for exposing me to it.)

A Little Destruction

If you don’t own Life's Little Destruction Book, you should. It’ll make you feel better about committing those little social faux pas -- or even really big ones. Its tagline is “512 boorish, insensitive and socially obnoxious pointers for leading a simple, self-centered life.” It was intended as a parody of the similarly titled Instruction Book (which only offered 511 pointers), but there are some of us who discovered this text to be far more profound. Here are some of those pointers:

Never tip more than a quarter.

Take the hotel towel.

Help fools part with their money.

Let everyone know how hard you work.

If the mistake is in your favor, don't correct it.

Misquote. (That one’s great for bloggers.)

Tell the ending of movies. (So’s that one.)

Give little kids clothes for their birthdays.

Add insult to injury.

Develop a convenient memory.

Touch strangers.

Sneer at people who try hard. (Again, Blogger 101.)

Dish it out, but don't take it.

Develop a truly tasteless foul mouth.

I’m real fond of that last one, and recklessly embrace it if I’ve had a few drinks in a public place. You can read more of these tips by clicking here or you could just go buy the book...although in doing so you may be breaking one of the rules.

One great pointer (though I rarely abide by it as I've learned the fallout can be hell) is "Pass the vicious rumors along". Admittedly, this isn't all that vicious -- hell, it isn't vicious at all -- but it is a rumor and one that's got me stoked about Doctor Who Season Four: The Sun reports that Ben Kingsley is close to signing on as the Dalek creator, Davros. One thing that cracks me up about the Sun piece is their observation of the irony of “Gandhi playing Davros”. Good lord! As if Kingsley hasn’t played one bastard after another since 1982. Man, it’s what the guy’s good at! Does anybody really still think of him as Gandhi!?! His career since has been so anti-Gandhi. Maybe he feels playing Davros will forever wash away that stink?

As I recently wrote at The House Next Door, we’re all suffering from Dalek fatigue at this point -- but much like in the classic series, the one surefire way to overcome that is to introduce Davros. Davros entered the series in 1975’s "Genesis of the Daleks", and his introduction was revisionism of sorts whereas the Daleks were concerned (he'd never been mentioned before). It mattered not. Davros was ruthless, witty, cold and always able to engage in some sort of theological discussion that not only mesmerized the Doctor but also made his blood boil. His presence so overshadowed his creations that he featured to some degree or another in every subsequent Dalek story -- which was actually only five tales including his intro. (Back then, the Doctor didn’t meet the Daleks every season, just every few years.) Many complained the Daleks took a back seat to their creator (a valid criticism), but from a dramatic standpoint, one Davros was ten times more stimulating than a fleet of Daleks. He owned a copy of and lived by Life's Little Destruction Book.

Russell T Davies has done a sterling job of reinventing the Daleks (even if every outing hasn’t been stellar), and with the idea of the Cult of Skaro, he’s come close to replicating the Davros vibe. Close, I say, but not close enough. If he intends to reintroduce the mad genius one can only imagine the villainous reinvention he’ll have in store for the character, and Ben Kingsley is a superb choice for the job. I’d heard through the grapevine before this casting rumor that Kingsley is indeed a fan, so perhaps it’s genuine. The last time I wrote of a Who rumor via the Sun it was about Kylie Minogue’s appearance in the upcoming Christmas special and that turned out to be true. (Granted, the same article claimed Woody Allen would play Einstein and that, at least so far, hasn’t come to pass).

But it’s hard to imagine Kingsley signing on to play the part under the heavy makeup Davros requires. Is it possible Davies might unveil a "Genesis of Davros" storyline? Perhaps a story leading up to the nuclear devastation that nearly wiped the Kaleds and the Thals off the face of Skaro? See, Davros wasn’t always so hideous; he went through an Anakin Skywalkerish-type of literal meltdown, which is how he came to be a disfigured invalid. Terry Nation, the true creator of the Daleks, left the Davros/Dalek history open enough for it to be played with...and obviously Davies loves to play. One area that seems difficult to play with, however, would be the Doctor meeting Davros for the first time, as those events are clearly shown in "Genesis of the Daleks". But then again, you’ll not find me being such the fanboy stickler that I’d heavily criticize Davies for fudging that in some manner if it made for an engaging story. If the Daleks are to return next season, they’d better damn well be packing a dramatic punch, and there's likely no better punch than Davros.

If you’re new to Who, I highly recommend tracking down the DVD of "Genesis of the Daleks". It’s Who/Dalek/Davros 101 and one of the greatest Doctor Who social allegories ever written. But you’re sick of Daleks, right? The good news is it barely features them and focuses far more on their creator as well as the ongoing war between the two aforementioned races who coexist on Skaro (hence the title). Terry Nation, who’d been cranking out Dalek stories since 1963, was at the top of his game and just a few years later he unveiled what was to be his television masterpiece: Blake’s 7. (Someday soon I'm gonna write about B7...)

By the way, it's pronounced "DAV-ross".

Monk, The Bobblehead

Meet the Adrian Monk bobblehead.

Monk rocks, right? It's one of the coolest, easy series unleashed in recent years. If you follow the formula, you don't have to tune in every single week. Monk shows up and solves the mystery. Sometimes we're in on whodunnit; sometimes not. Either way the show entertains mostly due to its cast and the writers' manner of deftly shoehorning each character into the plot.

None of this justifies the bobblehead looking nothing like Tony Shalhoub. But in defense of the sculptor, he may very well have too intricate a face for a bobblehead. Sure, it wants to be Shalhoub, but it is not.

To me, it looks like someone else...specifically. Curious if anyone else hones in on what I did (assuming my photo does the sculpture justice).

Hint: Remove the curly hair and focus on the face.

By the way, does anyone have any ideas as to the strength of the Bobblehead Culture? Why is it so prevalent? Why do these doodads keep getting made? I've pondered purchasing numerous characters, but have yet to find one that meets my standards. Do you own a bobblehead, and if so, which one? (Monk was a freebie, FYI.)