Life Imitating [Bad] Art?

Man with 700 snakes arrested at airport

CAIRO, Egypt (AP) -- Customs officers at Cairo's airport have detained a man bound for Saudi Arabia who was trying to smuggle 700 live snakes on a plane, airport authorities said.

The officers were stunned when a passenger, identified as Yahia Rahim Tulba, told them his carryon bag contained live snakes after he was asked to open it.

Tulba opened his bag to show the snakes to the police and asked the officers, who held a safe distance, not to come close. Among the various snakes, hidden in small cloth sacks, were two poisonous cobras, authorities said.

The Egyptian said he had hoped to sell the snakes in Saudi Arabia. Police confiscated the snakes and turned Tulba over to the prosecutor's office, accusing him of violating export laws and endangering the lives of other passengers.

According to the customs officials, Tulba claimed the snakes are wanted by Saudis who display them in glass jars in shops, keep them as pets or sell them to research centers.

The value of the snakes was not immediately known.

Big Trouble in Little China

(For Piper)

Transgressions

Surely I am not alone in not caring about the Transformers movie? Had it been a Micronauts feature, I mighta' been there, but this is a toy I never cared about. Didn't care about the old animated movie with Orson Welles either. Heck, I'd have had more interest in a Gobot movie just because they were the Beta to the Transformers' VHS. (More interest, yes...but would I go see it? Hell no!)

Somebody wrote the following on YouTube as a reaction to the trailer:

"This really looks crappy compared to what it could have been. No Soundwave, Megatron looks like crap, and bumblebee looks like a cross between Johnny 5 from short circut, Kain from robocop 2, and a lemon. But i have to admit, they did good work making optimus prime and scorpinok. Lots of lost potential making this, but it could have been worse."

What?

The idea that the Transformers movie "could have been" so much more leaves me amused. The idea that it "could have been worse" leaves me speechless. (Or maybe it's the other way around...or maybe it doesn't matter which way it is.)

Now lest these thoughts be mistaken for snobbery, I will be there for He-Man and the Masters of the Universe...so long as Evil-Lyn figures into the proceedings.

Tracey Thorn - Raise the Roof

The latest video from that groovy babe whose sounds have made my month:



Be sure and check out the Morgue piece "Everything but the Guy" for more gushing about Tracey Thorn's new album "Out of the Woods".

Who? Kylie Minogue, Woody Allen & Paul McGann. What?!

Last month rumors abounded that Kylie Minogue was set to appear in the 2007 Doctor Who Christmas special. Russell T Davies quickly came along and said "No. How can she be appearing in something I haven't even written yet?". A few weeks went by and somebody asked Kylie herself and she replied "Yes. My gay husband [her stylist, William Baker], is so excited about it! But I'm not going to play a villain." Will she or won't she (be in the special that is)? Davies doesn't seem averse to throwing in oddball guest stars that appeal to the masses. To wit: Catherine Tate, Simon Pegg, Simon Callow, Anne Robinson, the What Not to Wear dames...the list could go on.

Indeed, Davies made it publicly known some time ago that he really wanted Britney Spears to appear on the show, but given Brit's bumpy track record as of late I wouldn't be surprised if he shifted his game plan to another pop icon: Minogue would certainly fit the bill.

Now The Sun (and The Sun, when it come to Who rumors, has been more hit than miss) is reporting that none other than Woody Allen is lined up for the Christmas special as well -- playing Albert Einstein! Normally I'd call balderdash on this, but given the sheer amount of time the Woodman has spent in England as of late (filming three UK-based movies in a row), why not? He's surely been exposed to the show repeatedly over the past three years (if not on TV, then certainly through the press). Outpost Gallifrey suggests the whole idea could be a mangled version of facts concerning actress Rebecca Hall's appearances in both Woody's next film and a movie with David Tennant called Einstein and Eddington (although she isn't listed in the latter's IMDB credits).

Confused? I sure as hell am...but man I'd love to see Woody on Doctor Who, even in a 10 second cameo. Something like that would top my list of "Things I Never Thought I'd See 'Cuz I Never Thought of 'Em To Begin With".

And yet as cool as the notion of Woody on Who may be, an even cooler Who rumor came courtesy of Michael Hinman at SyFyPortal: Talk of a Doctor Who theatrical movie --unrelated to the current series-- starring none other than Doctor #8, Paul McGann. Now this is something that even in theory blows me away, but is probably less likely than Kylie, Britney and Alvy Singer all appearing together in the same frame as David Tennant...if for no other reason than it'd be too sweet of a wish to come true.

No other actor that's portrayed the Doctor deserves another chance to strut his wares more than Paul McGann. Even though his sole outing, the 1996 TV Movie co-produced by the BBC, Fox and Universal, was pretty weak in the script arena, McGann's performance carried the entire affair and elevated it from forgettable to canonical (and that script threw out a fair amount of crap that's got no business being part of the Who canon). When he wasn't even offered the chance to star in the new series it was a massive disappointment to a lot of fans, yet it's understandable that Davies wanted a clean slate with which to work.

McGann, who was once quoted as fearing the label "The George Lazenby of Doctor Who", proved quite the trooper and has since starred in several season's worth of 8th Doctor audio dramas for Big Finish Productions. From a live action visual standpoint, yes, Paul could be called the Who equivalent of Lazenby...but from a performance standpoint he's logged far more Time Lord hours than Christopher Eccleston. More importantly, unlike Lazenby as Bond, McGann positively rocked as the Doctor...and would no doubt rock the Doctor even harder today.

The other noteworthy factor in Hinman's article (oddly published on the TV movie's 11th anniversary) is the TV movie's director Geoffrey Sax, who over the years has amassed a bit of a resume, including White Noise and Stormbreaker. Whether or not Sax has the clout to get this off the ground I've no idea, but if the BBC's behind him I don't see how his clout would be an issue. And it's hard to imagine McGann saying no to the Doctor in a theatrical outing.

Is Doctor Who a big enough brand name at this point? In the UK, no doubt. Elsewhere? If Firefly warranted a feature, there's no question Who does.

Would audiences want to see someone other than David Tennant in the role? Before Tennant, Eccleston's shoes seemed an awfully tough fill.

Is Paul McGann a big enough name to stake a movie series on? Well he had sizable roles in Alien3, The Three Musketeers and Queen of the Damned. Of course, Withnail & I remains his triumphant, definitive big screen outing. This much I do believe: McGann trumps the casting of yet another actor as the Doctor (unless perhaps that actor is Hugh Grant). Pair him up with a name companion (say..Kate Winslet?) and/or against a name bad guy (say...Bill Nighy?) and it'd be gold. Back in the '60s while William Hartnell was playing the Doctor on TV, Peter Cushing brought "Dr. Who" to life on two different occasions in Dr. Who and the Daleks and Daleks' Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D. This wouldn't be the first time movie and TV incarnations of Doctor Who existed simultaneously.

But will Who even be on the air after Season/Series Four? Nobody's said anything concrete, but I get the vibe Davies is itching to leave, and I bet he and Tennant will time their exits in unison. (It's hard to imagine Davies casting yet another TV Doctor). Will the TV series - at least temporarily - close up shop? If it did, it'd be the perfect time to kick start a movie franchise. Maybe the BBC is thinking ahead?

Russell T Davies recently said something like "I certainly won't be around for Series Seven", which came across not as a confirmation of a sixth season, but that he was tiring of the whole process. This is the guy who was unsure the new Who would make it past the first season! He cut his teeth and honed his skills on British television, and before Who his concepts were either standalones or a couple seasons at most...and now he's juggling multiple seasons of Who, Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures! Please, someone...let the guy hibernate fer christssakes.

A big part of my love for the idea of a McGann movie dovetails nicely with my uneasiness over someone taking over for Russell when he exits (unless that someone is Steven Moffat). Sure, Doctor Who has thrived on change and many producers have guided it since 1963, but none with as a bold a vision as Russell T Davies. Not to imply his has been the ideal vision, but it's unquestionably been a smart vision. He solved the equation for resurrecting a seemingly dead concept into something fresh and relatable to modern audiences.

I'm fascinated by the notion that Geoffrey Sax has thought about this for years, and he's no doubt kept track of what's transpired through the current TV version. What went down with the TV movie was subject to the demands of so many parties that Sax's direction should be hailed (along with McGann's Doctor) as one of the few elements that made it worthwhile. Doctor Who belongs to no singular vision. It's a concept endlessly open to new interpretations. Something tells me Sax could deliver a Doctor who is universal.

Best. Chips. Ever.

(That is all.)

Slinging Webs at Spider-Man 3

What currently fascinates me most about Spider-Man 3 is the diversity of the reactions to it. I’ve yet to read a single review that praises it to the hilt, and the ones that trash it seem hell bent on proving there's nothing good about it at all.

The stuff I’ve enjoyed reading most has resided somewhere in the middle -- and each of these pieces offers up some new viewpoint that hadn’t occurred to me. Try Damian's reaction. Or Matt's excellent breakdown. Edward's is interesting because he felt the Sandman storyline should have been cut (to me it would have been the perfect central conflict had it been written somewhat differently). If you're so inclined Lazy Eye Theatre offers up some thoughts and don't miss Rob Humanick's great insights as well.

But I gotta admit that Harry Knowles' take really worked for me . It gave the whole affair a sort of logical fanboyish perspective -- which is probably what's required for an appreciation of this film.

I still have no idea where I stand in regard to Spidey 3, other than I never shed a tear (unlike the other two flicks) and it left me not really wanting more. I love the first two flicks so much that I'm not even sure I needed another Spider-Man movie. My feelings about 3 remain incomplete aside from maybe these few bullet points:

* I went in expecting the worst based on the handful of things I’d read. The first hour or so charmed me in a big way (the Harry getting amnesia thing aside, which seemed a huge waste of time). During the second hour, the charm began wearing thin -- although the cheesy disco stuff and Peter’s dance were, quite possibly, my favorite moments in the entire thing. The last 15 or so minutes were a big, loud mess.

* The movie seems like a classic example of Studio Vs. Talent. (Un?)fortunately Sam Raimi is such a team player and pro, he probably didn’t have the will to fight after all Sony’s done for him -- and frankly I can’t blame the guy.

* I’m not sure how much more angst can be drawn from the Peter/Mary Jane dynamic. Either keep ‘em together or split ‘em up -- but make a decision and stick with it. Give them both character and motivation that exists outside of reacting to one another's faults. What provided a solid center for Spidey 2 felt old and tired in Spidey 3. The wad was shot at the end of 2: They were together and it was good and right. Exploring the intricacies of their current relationship isn't working out; it'd be great fodder for a TV show, but a movie series delivering entries every few years is tedious.

* Harry was never given enough to do in the previous two films to warrant what happened to him in this film. Biggest transgressor? I really wanted to groove on Peter and Harry pooling their talents in the finale, but it didn’t work because their friendship’s never had enough depth for such a climax to resonate. Likewise, my eyes glazed when Harry died. This sucks because Franco’s done the best he can with the character and he deserved a much better exit. (Is he actually dead, by the way?)

* The Venom stuff sucked while the Sandman stuff rocked...'cept for the Uncle Ben angle. Can we please stop using his death as a dramatic "cliff" from which to jump? (Sorry Charly, I know it’s a nice paycheck for you at this point, but really…) It's become as tiresome as the murder of Bruce Wayne's parents.

Everything above may be void after I see the film again. The whole thing was such a sensory overload -- which is odd, because I'm sure the talk to action ratio weighs far heavier on the "talk" side. I gotta see it again before forming a real opinion. In any case, Spider-Man 3 may well be the most misunderstood movie of the year.

However the following very likely won’t change: After the first Spider-Man, I realized the biggest problem with bringing Spidey to the big screen: His face is static. This was amplified in any conversation scene between Spidey and the Goblin (especially the meeting on the roof), which featured NO facial movement from either character. (Maybe Hugo Weaving should play Peter?). What isn’t an issue for a comic book panel was hugely distracting on the silver screen (even Batman has a mouth and eyes).

Obviously Raimi hooked into similar thinking after completing the film and found some clever ways of getting around it in Spidey 2. But Spidey is without his mask for far too much of Spidey 3 and yet I don’t know how the issue should be handled at this point.

The bottom line: Both the static face and the removing of the mask cause big problems and it’s hard to say which is worse. The former makes a less engaging superhero; the latter makes a less believable film. It’s probably the most fucked conundrum in the history of comic book filmmaking.

WKRP in Cincinnati on DVD – The Verdict

Well it had to happen sooner or later, right? I had to weigh in, especially given my mildly schizophrenic attitude toward the DVD release, which is somewhat inaccurately labeled “The Complete First Season”. It is not, but it's more complete than the WKRP in Cincinnati I owned before, which was nothing.

The internet’s run rampant for weeks now with all the painful details of the many song cuts and in the weeks leading up to the release, a lot of people posted to Amazon about intentions of canceling preorders and so forth – which they were perfectly entitled to do. Since I never preordered the set I wasn’t one of them, but neither did I rush out on day one and pick up the set as planned. I wonder how many of those people still haven’t picked up the set, and if so, I also wonder if they’d react to it as I have?:

It’s a fantastic collection that comes very close to preserving the bulk of what made the series so special.

This whole music-tied-to-classic-moments stuff is rooted in either nostalgia or familiarity. It’s easy to say WKRP was/is as much about the music as everything else (I know because I’ve said it), but this DVD set for the most part proves that the songs were actually a pretty small part of a bigger, crazier and more rewarding picture. Admittedly, there are some exceptions – the biggest one being a scene between Carlson and Johnny in “Turkeys Away” in which Pink Floyd’s Dogs was originally used and Floyd was central to the dialogue. Not only is the song gone on the DVD, but so is most of the scene and what remains is mostly just a sight gag. It’s a huge shame that such a major cut was made to the episode that’s considered one the greatest half hours of TV ever created. (It's worth noting that my love of Floyd undoubtedly plays into my feelings about that particular cut.)

Fox, however, has done a bang up job of finding replacement material that mostly conveys the vibes of the original tunes for the majority of the DVD set and it seems there was more thought put into this release than many are saying. I can picture a release that would be both far less satisfying and far more offensive. (Indeed, I’d pictured it before viewing this set.)

Probably the most bemoaned replacement is the classic “Les puts on a wig to Foreigner” scene in “A Date with Jennifer”. Of course Foreigner is missed, and the tune taking its place desperately wants to be Hot Blooded -- yet the tone of the gag remains blissfully intact. (Has the omission of Foreigner from anything ever aroused this much contempt?) What used to be Johnny spinning James Taylor’s Your Smiling Face at the close of “I Want to Keep My Baby” plays similarly. My hat really goes off to Fox for doing their best with a bad situation and I’d be interested to find out how the replacement music came to be. Where did it come from? Who recorded it? Was it made especially for this set? It doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard before and yet it’s clearly inspired by the music it replaces.

A friend loaned me a set of WKRP bootlegs a few months ago. I watched a handful of those and was disheartened by the fact they were the syndicated versions with 22 minute running times, but even more so by the video and sound quality. Sure, the new set's never going to snag a THX seal of approval, but it's 25 years old and shot on video; all things considered, the sound and vid quality are perfectly acceptable. Despite Floyd, Foreigner and James Taylor all being intact, the problems with the bootlegs outweigh the few positives -- I can't imagine any fan finding them preferable, not to mention the difficulty most would have in obtaining them in the first place. Overall, the Fox set comes up far superior and certainly anyone previously unfamiliar with this material would be hard-pressed to notice anything’s “wrong” with the new DVD at all. Indeed, if certain fans already have their minds made up, then perhaps I'm speaking to the uninitiated.

WKRP is such landmark television that the DVD set’s problems can’t keep it from shining. I was reminded of its strengths when watching the infamous turkey drop. The sequence violates one of the cardinal rules of filmed drama: Don’t tell me, show me. All the scene does is tell. Amazing is that never do we once see a turkey onscreen. Or a helicopter…or a banner waving behind it reading WKRP…or a parking lot bombed by live turkeys. Regardless, those images are burned into our memories forever.

All we see is Les (Richard Sanders), standing outside a store with a microphone, looking past the invisible camera in front of him and up into the sky as some extras walk past him now and then. As the scene -- and Sanders' performance -- crescendos, the extras move a little bit faster. Back at the station, Johnny, Andy, Bailey and Venus add another layer by reacting to Les’ report. It’s a glorious example of the sitcom format at its finest – an ideal dance of acting, writing, editing, directing and above all else, perfect comedic timing from Sanders. Sans his inexplicably “believable” performance, the entire thing would’ve crashed like those imaginary turkeys.

One of Les’ great lines in that scene is “Oh the humanity!” which could be the tagline for WKRP itself. Probably the only other sitcom that ever managed to blend farce and drama as successfully as WKRP was Soap (another 4 season series), however the Soap dynamic crumbled beneath its own weight early in its third season. WKRP trumped it by delivering four full seasons of great television – it never ceased to amuse and/or move and never went bad.

WKRP’s First Season features many classic episodes. Aside from “Turkeys Away”, “Fish Story”, “Hoodlum Rock”, “Tornado”, and the season ender “The Preacher” all rank as highlights (other fans would no doubt pick other standouts). But this stuff was only the beginning of the ‘KRP line. A handful of samplings from the later seasons:

“Baseball” (2.3) -- Les’ childhood fears of inadequacy rear their ugly head at a softball game against WPIG. For a guy who hated team sports as a kid, this one always meant something to me.

“In Concert” (2.19) – A Who concert ticket giveaway by the station leaves the staff feeling guilty after the show’s general seating arrangement results in the trampling and death of 11 fans. This one was inspired by and centered around a true incident that occurred at a Who concert in Cincinnati in 1979.

“Real Families” (3.3) – A bizarre satire of reality TV long before it was central to our viewing habits. Herb and his family agree to have their lives documented by the series Real Families, hosted by Peter Marshall(!). The show was more interested in picking apart the Tarleks and exposing their weaknesses than showing anything positive or nice. Mostly shot in a documentary style and without a laugh track, this ranks amongst WKRP’s bravest -- and strangest -- installments.

“Bah Humbug” (3.7) – Carlson eats one of Johnny’s “special” brownies at a holiday Christmas party and has a Dickensian dream where three ghosts visit him. In the future, Herb Tarlek remains the sole employee of a cold, automated WKRP. (Again, automated radio wasn’t nearly as rampant in the early '80s as it is today.)

“The Consultant” (4.9) – Mama Carlson (Carol Bruce) hires a consultant for the station. The staff joins forces to pull a fast one on him to hilarious effect. This episode also features some priceless moments with Ian Wolfe, who played Mama Carlson’s aged butler Hirsch.

Mama: “Hirsch, where have you been?”
Hirsch: “Mardi Gras, Madam.”

“Fire” (4.17) – A fire in the building traps Herb and Jennifer in an elevator together in what was a defining episode for both characters.

There's almost no way to do justice to the series without running through nearly every installment and pointing out each priceless gem after another. It's one of the few sitcoms that warrants such a dissection and hopefully someday someone will do just that. (Hell, I should write the book about WKRP.)

I said before and I reiterate: Fans should pick up this set regardless of any misgivings. Fox needs to know there’s interest and that money will be spent on future seasons. Given the problematic nature of this material, they already put more care into rejiggering it into something much tighter than expected. I doubt Fox foresaw the blowup that would ensue over this release or exactly how outraged people would be over some of the changes – and many of the outraged have yet to even see the finished product.

My hope is that it sells well, and Fox puts even more care and thought into the following seasons. Even though it’d be far off, it’s also possible that if the series as a whole sells well, Fox might decide a “double-dip” is in order and re-release the First Season in something closer to its original form. This was a big test for a TV on DVD release and I applaud those involved for just getting the damn thing out there and letting people decide for themselves, which less than a year ago seemed an impossibility.

O-Blog-atory "My Cat Died" Entry

Given the title of this piece, you probably already know if you care to invest a few minutes into these words...

Every cat means a little something different - and that's part of the charm of owning cats.

Two days ago one of our cats, Babygirl - whom we’d raised and had for four years - was killed by a reckless driver on our street. We know this thanks to a witness. (For the purposes of this piece, from here on out “I/me/my/etc.” frequently means “we/us/our/etc.”)

Babygirl was undeniably the sweetest cat I’d ever owned. So dainty that she’d even somehow, over the years, gotten to the point where she refused to crap in her litter box and always demanded to go outside. This was my fault for having trained her to be an indoor/outdoor cat from kittenhood. My house has three streets surrounding it as well as a high school a stone’s throw away. I live in a bad place to have outdoor cats.

But Babygirl was living on borrowed time anyway, and I’d always reckoned she’d made ample use of her 9 lives. I lost her on three different occasions and managed to get her back each time (the first was even on a Christmas Eve). Her premature passing was something I’d pretty much come to view as inevitable.

Before Babygirl, I lost Inuyasha - also thanks to a car! He rocked and was the least problematic cat I’d ever owned. And he looked like Batman, which I always thought was kinda cool. When he passed, Babygirl seemed lonely, so I wanted her to have a new friend – only any hypothetical new cat would not be allowed outside.

Enter Scorpius, who is not only the biggest pain in the ass of a cat you can imagine, but he’s strictly indoors and clearly doesn’t want to be. Tough titty, kitty -- I’m in charge. Luckily he makes up for his shortcomings with ample amounts of personality, which in the cat world is pretty valuable. Scorpy was chosen from the many at the pound because he was black and took an instant liking to me. I've reminded him time and again that without my intervention he'd likely have been gassed or offered up as a sacrifice by some lame Goth cult. This doesn't appear to matter much to His Highness.

But back to my beloved Babygirl. I had to clean up her remains, which, as you pet lovers might guess, wasn’t easy. I wanted to bury her in our backyard. Sounds simple, right? Not so. The spot I picked was so heavy with roots and rock that before getting less than a foot in I gave up. We also have rampant raccoon and possum problems, and the idea of something digging her up due to an inept burial didn’t set well with me. So I call animal control - an apparently miniscule division of the Alamo Heights police department. Guess what? “Animal control has the week off.”

“We usually tell people to double or triple bag the pet so a feral animal won’t get to it, and then just put it out in the garbage”, the voice said. That was on Tuesday and I quite frankly didn't have another reasonable solution. I was, however, insistent that nothing else other than she be placed in that can before pickup day.

This morning I woke up extra early so I could meet the garbage truck. If I didn’t feel like a total shitbag at this point, presiding over my little Babygirl's unceremonious dumping into a truck with used tampons and half-eaten burritos certainly sent me over the edge – or at least sent me far enough to write a “dead cat” entry, which two days ago smacked of improbability.

So I run out to the garbage truck when it pulls up. Goddamn these guys are pros! He’s already got her bag in his hands when I get out there, and I – like an idiot – say, “That’s my cat in there! She was killed a couple days ago and I just…” The words pretty much trailed off after that. I said something about the animal control call and what I was instructed to do. He calls over a supervisor. I tell him the same thing and he gives me a blank stare. There are like four of these guys, each handling some different aspect of the job[!?] and all speaking Spanish. They just wanna do what they have to do, dead cat or not – and I can’t really blame them. Are they supposed to hold a fucking funeral every time some suburbanite runs out waving his arms? I explained to him that yeah, I know how stupid I sound, but I just kinda wanted to be here. He says nothing, but his eyes call me a fucking pussy. Into the garbage truck my Babygirl went and I wondered exactly what the point was of me getting up to put myself through all this.

So here I am, sharing with you dear reader the goriest of details. There is no concrete end to this tale, and certainly no moral. I hope that I do not sound heartless, as I did my best by my Babygirl, who once upon a time - when she was tiny - shit in various corners of our house. I loved her regardless. I loved her even though, unlike my other cats, I was allergic to her. I loved her even when she woke me up at 5 in the morning wanting to go outside. I loved her immensely when I got her back that Christmas Eve.

And I believe, as much as a cat can, she loved me. Even though she was probably allergic to me, too.

Spidey Up Against the Wall

Damian at Windmills of my Mind recently discussed the nearly forgotten live action Spider-Man series from the '70s. This took me back to my first exposure to he of all things webbed, The Electric Company. For people of a certain age group, The Electric Company hammered into our psyches the cheesiest of spins on the iconic superhero, yet it somehow registered and paved the way for comics, cartoons and eventually the ultimate Spidey experiences, the Sam Raimi movies. For your perusal -- and guest-starring Morgan Freeman -- Spidey Up Against the Wall:

Coolest. Goldfinger. Screening. Ever.

One of Austin, TX's greatest contributions to film is the Alamo Drafthouse movie theatre chain...for too many reasons to list. Over the past two summers the Drafthouse has sponsored the Rolling Roadshow, where they travel around the country and play movies in the unlikeliest -- and yet most appropriate -- of locations. One of last year's highlights was a screening of Close Encounters at the Devil's Tower in Wyoming.

Drafthouse owner Tim League has unveiled the 2007 Rolling Roadshow tour schedule and lo and behold - amidst the numerous cool moviegoing opportunities - is the chance to see none other than Goldfinger at Fort Knox, on Friday Aug. 3rd. Talk about 007 in '007!

Everything but the Guy

The great mystery of my weekend was how Tracey Thorn managed to release a CD that I didn't find out about until a month later.

Don’t know Tracey? Maybe you’ve heard of Everything but the Girl (“EBTG” for short), the duo of which she's half; Ben Watt, the other 50%, is also Tracey’s husband. Their biggest hit, Missing (“And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain”), was a massive club track back in the mid-‘90s[1]. If you still don’t know who they are, you’ve been denied one of the great singer/songwriter duos of the past 25 years. Since first discovering “The Language of Life” -- their 1990 album which yielded the minor VH-1 hit, Driving -- EBTG became my "getting-in-touch-with-my-feminine-side" drug of choice. It's been my experience that the band remains largely unknown in the U.S., which, over the years, has allowed me to turn people on to them right and left.

EBTG are the smoothest rollercoaster you'll ever ride, yet you never quite know which loop they’ll spin you around next. They’ve deceptively continued to adapt their style and sound to flow with the times, while always remaining true to an emotionally resonant core. How two people who’ve been together for so long can evoke such precise heartbreak remains another great mystery. 1994’s “Amplified Heart” -- arguably the jewel in the EBTG crown -- is so ideally crafted that surrendering to its dagger-through-the-heart charms is the best musical substitute for a real breakup. I once heard it compared to Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours”, which is apt, although it lacks Buckingham’s anger. Nobody can make breakup and loss sound as wistfully sweet as EBTG. Though the two albums couldn’t sound less alike, “Amplified Heart” deserves a pop iconic “Rumours”-like status it’ll probably never attain.

Which brings me to “Out of the Woods”, Thorn’s first solo recording since 1982. I don’t mean to either diminish Watt or glamorize Thorn in relation to the partnership -- which has always seemed very equal -- but if you’re looking for that EBTG sound, “Out of the Woods” isn’t to be missed simply because the brand name isn’t emblazoned across the cover. (It’d be like passing on a Lindsey Buckingham effort because it doesn’t say Fleetwood Mac.) Do I dare name “Woods” the best EBTG record since “Amplified Heart”? I dare, and it is. A big part of this is simply because Thorn’s vocals have always dominated EBTG’s output. While the pair pretty much split the songwriting duties down the middle, Ben rarely sings lead vocals (which is a bit of shame, because he’s got a haunting voice of which I’m quite fond). Thorn’s unique vocals are so central to EBTG, that even when she lends her talents to a band like Massive Attack, the result still sounds like EBTG.

I’ve listened to “Out of the Woods” non-stop over the past four days. It’s in turns sweet, heartrending, uplifting, flirtatious, philosophical and, of course, rhythmically groovy. Thorn never shies away from dropping English colloquialisms and words into her lyrics (another EBTG staple) -- for example on the song A-Z, she pronounces "Z" as "Zed". Some of the tunes are perfect for a Sunday afternoon and others will complement your Saturday night. It’s basically everything one could want or expect from an EBTG album minus Ben Watt -- although an argument could be made that Watt’s presence hovers above the proceedings like a phantom of inspiration. When two people are as seemingly joined at the hip and heart -- both professionally and personally -- as Thorn and Watt have been for the past 25 years, it’s impossible to believe his influence wouldn’t make its way onto her record in some fashion.

By the time I found Everything but the Girl back in ‘90, the career they’d already had in their native England allowed me to dive into everything I’d missed (1986’s “Baby the Stars Shine Bright” is another gem) and I followed them diligently from then on. Their last full album was in 1999 (“Temperamental”), and as the years kept passing, I’d pretty much given up hope for a new one -- yet EBTG’s output was so rich and rewarding for so long that it didn’t matter. They’re artists who do it when the time feels right, not on some record company’s schedule. EBTG need never make another album as what they’ve already amassed is worth the discographies of 10 other bands.

I was elated to discover Tracey decided to share some new work with the public and before even hearing it I knew I’d fall in love with her all over again. “Out of the Woods” is like a late Christmas gift from a friend you haven’t seen in years, showing up in the mailbox when you’re least expecting it. Maybe I won’t get another gift for quite some time, but I’ll treasure this one for the meaningful rarity it is.

Check out the video for the new single, It's All True. One never knows quite what to expect from an EBTG video, and solo Tracey is no different. It's artsy and strange and I don't how it relates to the tune, but EBTG's videos rarely offer visual interpretations that corrupt the music. In 2004 they released the DVD video collection "Like the Deserts Miss the Rain", which spans their entire career and introduced me to their outstanding cover of Paul Simon's The Only Living Boy in New York.

[1] My kid just informed me that Missing is included on Dance Dance Revolution. Perhaps that's an even greater legacy than being compared to Fleetwood Mac?

WKRP - Round Three

Sometime this week I will buy the Season One box set of WKRP in Cincinnati. It’s important that's understood as you read the rest of this entry.

A year ago I made much hay over the fact WKRP wasn’t on DVD due to the music licensing issues. Then in December the first season was announced – with rumors that “some” music would be replaced and that Fox had hired someone to find “appropriate” substitutions. I claimed I’d give it a shot regardless. A few weeks ago Jaime Weinman at Something Old, Something New received a press copy of the set and dropped the bomb: Not only had some of the music been replaced, but nearly all of it had and there were even some edits as well as three of the episodes being the shorter, syndicated versions. So much for The “Complete” First Season (as the set is labeled). I announced I'd likely have no part of it.

WKRP has a rabid following and with good reason. It’s dramatically and comedically stood the test of time more than many sitcoms that lasted longer, got higher ratings, and are generally thought of as cornerstones of American TV (I’m talking to you The Cosby Show). WKRP is one of the greats and why Fox didn’t see fit to honor it properly by going the distance remains a mystery. TVShowsonDVD recently ran a piece that was enlightening on numerous levels but still smacked of bullshit rationalizations (um, the guy at Fox). Yes, we (the fans) understand the music would have been expensive (and most of us would've paid double to get the real deal). Yet Universal has somehow managed to release Miami Vice season sets -- chock full of ‘80s music -- without too much problem. Same goes for Saturday Night Live Season One, which retains all the music performances (one can only imagine how much it cost to include ABBA!). As Jaime Weinman pointed out, if Fox had even paid for a handful of tunes from key scenes -- such as Foreigner’s “Hot Blooded” and Pink Floyd’s “Dogs” (the latter omission actually resulted in dialogue edits to the scene!) – fans probably wouldn’t have made such a fuss.

Yet what’s done is done, right? The other night I started reading reviews on Amazon and was swayed. Why? Because person after person who’d actually bought the set said that even though they noticed what’s missing, what remains is far more valuable. I thought about that -- I might not get to see Les Nessman putting on a toupee to Foreigner, but if I don’t buy it I certainly won’t be seeing Herb in a fish costume fighting with the WPIG pig in the men’s room. Or Johnny threatening the elderly in the DJ booth. Or Les reporting that the shopping mall is currently being bombed by live turkeys. Yeah, the music was a big part of WKRP, but not nearly as big as Gary Sandy, Gordon Jump, Howard Hesseman, Frank Bonner, Loni Anderson, Richard Sanders, Tim Reid, Jan Smithers & Hugh Wilson and all the other people who brought the show to life.

I wanna share WKRP with my kid – who’ll never notice the changes because he’s never seen it before. Sure, I’ll silently grumble every now and then, but I’ll probably laugh my ass off a hell of a lot more often. WKRP is an MTM production, and Fox has already had numerous problems with Mary Tyler Moore (another of my faves) and there are rumors that, due to poor sales, there isn’t going to be a Season Five set for that series. I’d like to own as much WKRP as possible, and maybe if Fox sees that it sells, they’ll work harder and spend a few more dollars on Season Two. But if it doesn’t sell at all, maybe there’ll never even be a Season Two DVD.

So if you’re against this DVD on principle (which believe me, I understand), I ask that you reconsider based on another principle: WKRP rocks without Foreigner making it rock a tad more. And if you've never seen WKRP at all, get thee to a DVD retailer pronto because none of this crap will make a difference.

Be sure and check out the Morgue WKRP DVD review as well as the other articles I've written on 'KRP by clicking here.

007 in '007: Tomorrow Never Dies

My first viewing of Tomorrow Never Dies was at the Screen on Baker Street Cinema in London. The film premiered in the UK a week before the U.S. and I was lucky enough to be there that week. Being an American, these circumstances were ideal for viewing a Bond flick, and as a result my view’s slightly colored: Dies has always been my favorite Brosnan flick…which isn’t saying much since I’m not wild about the quadrilogy in the first place. Having not seen the movie for several years, I was curious as to whether or not it would hold up.

One aspect of Brosnan’s tenure that’s more noticeable with hindsight is how different each entry is in tone and execution. Tomorrow Never Dies smacks of a good old-fashioned Roger Moore-era outing. It’s the least complicated of Pierce’s movies and moves along with a brisk pace. It’s got some great action scenes, an over-the-top villain and a surprising number of witticisms that don’t fall entirely flat:

Bond: (In bed with a language tutor) “I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.”

Back at MI6, M walks up behind Moneypenny, who’s talking to Bond.

Moneypenny: “You always were a cunning linguist, James.” (To M) “Don't ask.”

M: “Don't tell.”

Yet the wit is about all there is to praise in Bruce Feirstein’s script, because there’s barely any plot and character motivation must have been thrown out the window during what was apparently a very messy writing process. The first half attempts to rectify this with a “GPS encoder”, serving as a handy MacGuffin to distract us from the realization that satirizing the media isn’t enough of a mission to keep a Bond film afloat.

Zee Villain: Jonathan Pryce’s media mogul Elliot Carver is an insane megalomaniac drawn in the old-school Bond tradition; William Randolph Hearst were he alive today with Rupert Murdoch’s power & technology at his disposal. Carver lives by his catchphrase, “Tomorrow’s News Today”, and the idea drives the meager plot. He creates political disasters for the sole purpose of being the first to put them in the headlines. His current scheme involves inciting war between China and the UK, which will in turn give him some kind of media stranglehold -- um, yeah…I don’t really get it either, but since the entire affair harkens back to flicks like You Only Live Twice and The Spy Who Loved Me, perhaps we’re expected to care less than we are to bask in a form of nostalgia.

Back to Pryce…you know, it’s Jonathan Goddamn Pryce. Need this man’s stellar resume even be listed? The guy’s just class and surely has never given a bad performance. He’s played good guys and bad blokes and chaps somewhere in between. He’s been the lead as often as he’s been the supporting player. He plays notes of comedy and drama to perfection, regardless of whether they’re set in past, present or future. He makes us laugh, he makes us cry, and he’s even scared the crap out of us. Jonathan Pryce is one of the most flexible, underrated actors in the business and the fact Carver stands out given how piss poorly he’s drawn is further proof of Pryce’s talent (not that further proof was required). Without Pryce’s antics and line delivery, this film would have no dramatic center.

Les Girls: Before she was a bed-hopping desperate housewife, Teri Hatcher, as the inanely named Paris Carver, soiled the linens of both James Bond and Elliot Carver. It seems Paris has some kind of history with James – something that’s supposed to elevate her above the Bond girl pack. But given what’s shown on-screen, we’d never know it if we weren’t told it. Her limited screentime amounts to wagging eyelashes, a push-up bra and smacking James across the face before falling back into bed with him.

You know what would have worked here? A character/actress from an older Bond movie. Maybe Maryam d’Abo’s Kara Milovy from The Living Daylights? As a concert cellist, she was something of a celebrity and it wouldn’t have been unreasonable for her to fall for Elliot’s charms and vice versa. If we’re to believe Bond’s got a history with a girl, why not give us a history we already know? At least the script never offers up a dreadful spin on “We’ll always have Paris”.

The primary Bond girl in Tomorrow Never Dies is Michelle Yeoh’s (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) Wai Lin, an agent who’s essentially the Chinese government’s version of Bond (again, reminiscent of The Spy Who Loved Me). Michelle Yeoh is a kick ass babe, and it’s a credit to the script that she never falls into bed with Bond (well, not until the final seconds anyway, which in turn gives us the perfect Roger Moore ending). Unfortunately, like the rest of this film, Wai Lin’s got virtually no character and pretty much amounts to her martial arts skills, which is obviously why Yeoh was hired, despite being nearly as good an actress.

Zee Henchmen: A wasteland of nothingness! In a movie where the main characters are underwritten, it should come as no surprise that the henchman suffer even more horrible fates. Carver’s two primary employees are Stamper (German actor Götz Otto) and Mr. Gupta (illusionist Ricky Jay; why does he have an Indian surname?). The former is the muscle, the latter is the brains. Had the pair been combined into one character, they might’ve amounted to something memorable. Vincent Schiavelli cameos as Dr. Kaufman -- a “professor of forensic medicine” with orders to kill Bond. He makes a bigger impression than the other two guys with only a bad German accent and a few minutes of screentime:

Dr. Kaufman: “My art is in great demand, Mr. Bond. I go all over the world. I am especially good at the celebrity overdose.”

Bond, James Bond: Stop me if you’ve heard this one: The script blows. Bond’s motivation (orders from M notwithstanding) ranges from ridiculous to non-existent, and Brosnan has little to do other than jump from one set piece to the next. He shows little remorse over whatever the hell went down in the past with Hatcher’s Paris, but after her husband has her killed, Bond seems motivated to avenge her death rather than get on with his job. Soon though he forgets Paris, and becomes overprotective of Wai Lin – and with no good reason other than she’s a hot woman whom he has yet to bed (would Bond get so worked up over a male Chinese agent?). Add in the fact that Wai Lin simply doesn’t need Bond looking over her shoulder. She’s more than capable of taking care of herself, until a moment near the finale where she isn’t – a development which degrades both characters. On one occasion Brosnan’s forced to deliver a quip to no audience other than us; this was Moore territory and a gag he mastered -- it feels clunky when Brosnan attempts it. After the meaty script (by comparison) that was Goldeneye, Dies must’ve been a massive disappointment for Brosnan the actor.

Tuneage and Credits Sequence: Even though Maurice Binder’s title sequences didn’t always hit the bullseye, they’re sorely missing from Brosnan’s era and it’s almost painful to see the various stabs at aping his distinctive style. Dies’ titles are about half success, half failure: The parts featuring half-naked women brandishing weapons and marching against fields of X-Ray work pretty well; the stuff featuring computer generated nudity comes across as more creepy than erotic.

The music, however, is a success on every count. Sheryl Crow’s title song (co-written and produced by Mitchell Froom) pays sensual tribute to Carly Simon’s "Nobody Does it Better" and Sheena Easton’s "For Your Eyes Only", while simultaneously dishing up a little something original and right. Composer David Arnold’s excellent work deftly underscores the action and breathes life and mood into areas where there otherwise wouldn’t be any; indeed, it’s possible Arnold contributed more “character” to Tomorrow Never Dies than anyone else. He also wrote “Surrender” -- a bombastic riff on Shirley Bassey sung by k.d. lang over the end credits. If all this musical goodness isn’t enough, the film even crams Moby’s cool, thumping remix of the James Bond Theme into the proceedings.

Writing about its music brings me to the strengths of Tomorrow Never Dies. What the movie lacks in plot and character, it more than makes up for with the thrilling, escapist action and stuntwork that’s become a major hallmark of the franchise. There may be a bit of CGI in the movie, but its carefully hidden and the bulk of the action looks very “real”.

One improbable sequence begins with Bond and Wai Lin, handcuffed together, escaping from the top of a skyscraper by grabbing a giant banner covering the building’s exterior, and tearing it straight down the middle until about halfway down when they crash through a window and into an office full of surprised workers. The scene is humorously punctuated by Elliot’s face emblazoned on the banner! It’s the kind of thing that only Bond movies can pull off and it’s just an intro to an action centerpiece that goes on for an interminable amount of time as the still handcuffed duo steal a motorcycle and are chased by a helicopter into all manner of improbable situations.

Another showcases Bond skydiving into the ocean – replete with scuba gear – opening his chute only several hundred feet before hitting the water. The underwater photography that follows -- Bond swims through the remains of a wrecked submarine (running into Wai Lin along the way!) -- is breathtaking. Yet another fun scene details Bond’s escape from Carver’s lackeys in a parking garage -- by navigating a Q-issued BMW via remote control from the back seat. The car is in turn equipped with more gadgets than any other vehicle in 007 history.

Tomorrow Never Dies shows off some amazing cinematography courtesy of Robert Elswit, and Roger Spottiswoode’s (Stop or My Mom Will Shoot!) direction, all things considered, is pretty damn good. As many criticisms as I’ve launched, it remains my favorite Brosnan flick because it’s an easy watch that miraculously entertains from start to finish. It takes viewers back to a time when we weren’t supposed to take Bond all that seriously. Admittedly, this conflicts with my subjective feelings of where Bond should’ve been in 1997, yet it sidesteps the problem by being a fun movie whose only goal is to entertain. It’s tough to dislike an outing that accomplishes the one thing I really want from 007.

Steal James Bond from Amazon

UPDATED!

Amazon is practically giving away Bond movies at criminally insane prices: Goldfinger, Thunderball, For Your Eyes Only, The Spy Who Loved Me and Goldeneye are selling for $7.99 apiece!!!

And it looks like more are on the way...

This "breaking up of the box sets" must have happened around the time Casino Royale hit DVD, but I didn't notice. I'd heard the films would be available individually sometime this year, and clearly they're now trickling out.

While these aren't the double disc versions available in the box sets, they're still the same transfers and include the commentary tracks. What you get here for $8 a pop is still a pretty sweet bang for your Bond buck - and if you only want to own Goldfinger, you don't also have to buy The World Is Not Enough just to get it.

Status? Highly recommended.

UPDATE: It looks like the prices on these discs are fluctuating a bit - a couple of them have gone up a dollar or two since I posted this earlier this afternoon.

A Doctor Who Christmas in July on Sci Fi

SCI FI Channel announced that it will air the third season of BBC's Doctor Who, beginning in July. The new season will kick off with the Doctor Who Christmas special "The Runaway Bride," guest-starring award-winning British comedy actress Catherine Tate.

In season three, David Tennant returns as the time-traveling Doctor, joined by a new companion, Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman). The first episode of the season is called "Smith and Jones."

In the third season, which is already airing in the United Kingdom, the Doctor and Martha meet William Shakespeare, deal with bloodsucking alien Plasmavores, encounter the Judoon (a clan of galactic stormtroopers) and uncover a Dalek plot in 1930s New York.

The second season of the new Doctor Who earned impressive ratings during its airing on SCI FI, delivering an average of more than 1 million viewers each week.

Doctor Who is produced by Phil Collinson. Executive producers are Julie Gardner, the head of drama, BBC Wales, and Russell T. Davies, who is also lead writer.

"Violence is a very horrible thing!"

(The above title is a quote from A Clockwork Orange.)

Two great pieces on the blogosphere led to this entry.

The first is from Edward Copeland at his Institute for Lower Learning.

The second is from Damian Arlyn's Windmills of My Mind.

Check out their reactions to some of the stuff that's been going on the past couple days in regard to the media and the Virginia Tech tragedy. They've got more to say than my piece, which is just a reaction to issues they both pondered concerning violence in the media and the age-old "chicken and the egg" debate about whether or not violence in film inspires violence in the real world or if it's the other way around.

The way I see it, there are as many different types of filmic violence as there are sex, comedy, animation, etc. But for the purposes of my reaction, I’ll boil it down to 4 categories.

1. The type of violence Hollywood generates the majority of the time is the senseless kind, designed to titillate and thrill - the stuff displayed in most action films and video games. There aren’t any hard consequences from it and it (hopefully) doesn’t register to most as real violence. (Bond movies fall into this category; even Casino Royale --despite its attempts to “make it real”-- still resides here.)

2. Following right behind that is the slasher-type violence seen in horror films (and also in many video games). Again, we’re removed from this stuff because it’s usually perpetrated my some unseen monster with no personality or means of audience identification – and it also helps that we know our characters are set up to be victims anyway, so we invest nothing in them. (This category needs to be separated from #1 because it's typically drenched in blood, whereas #1 is mostly about action.) Oddly, this too is meant to be a form of "fun".

I’d guess that about 95% of all filmic violence falls into one of the above two categories.

3. Quentin Tarantino’s brilliant because he practically created -- or at least honed -- this brand of violence...and almost nobody’s as good at it as he is these days. QT’s violence occurs within his hyperreal, stylized world. Sometimes there are consequences; sometimes not. Sometimes you feel for the victims; sometimes you’re not supposed to. Sometimes you root for the perpetrator; sometimes you fear him or her. But whatever’s going on in a Tarantino film, a strange barrier still separates his world from our reality - worrisome is the notion that some people don't see that barrier. His brand of mayhem could be the most subversive – there’s arguably nothing more potentially dangerous to a weak mind than stylized violence that just looks fucking cool, especially when it's perpetrated by someone the viewer identifies with. Other good examples of this are Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange [1], Fincher's Fight Club and DePalma's Scarface. This category is very specialized and covers a mere 1%.

4. The other 4% is the “ugly violence with hard consequences” category. This is my personal favorite and the one that separates the men from the boys: A man will wince and feel the pain; a boy will laugh and think nothing of it. I enjoy feeling horrible about seeing atrocious acts of screen violence in a similar way to how I enjoy feeling horny as a result of a hot sex scene or laughing my butt off at some well-played slapstick.

Some examples: Dorothy Vallens getting raped by Frank Booth in Blue Velvet. The knifing of Billy Batts in Goodfellas (both in the club and then later in the car). The attack on Parry in The Fisher King. The killing of Honorah at the end of Heavenly Creatures. Pick a scene from a war movie of your choice (Saving Private Ryan, Apocalypse Now, etc.), and it too likely fits in this category: Hard violence that hurts when you watch it -- as violence should and does. The Sopranos sometimes resides in this category, but also frequently dances with Tarantino and #3.

My son – who turns 14 next month – is as potentially “desensitized” to categories 1 & 2 as not only any kid his age, but also as most of us have become. I don't see a problem with that -- it's called growing up. I’ve yet to show him much fare from category 3 because of the potential dangers I outlined above.

Two things I’ve watched with him in the past week fit into category 4: A) A fairly lengthy sequence that closes Season 2, Episode 1 of Twin Peaks, in which snippets of Laura Palmer’s gruesome murder at the hands of Bob are shown in a very jarring manner and B) The movie Deliverance and all the nasty shit that goes down in that 2 hour period. He was disturbed and shocked and felt as one should feel toward the acts of violence he viewed in this fare – even though he full well knows it isn’t “real”.

So my point is that no matter how much carnage we view on our TVs and movie screens, when violence is presented as the horrific act it is, most people --I hope-- react accordingly. It’s difficult for me to swallow the accusation that watching one mindless action pic after another or playing Grand Theft Auto for 12 hours straight is making soulless zombies of us all…unless, of course, we’re beginning to appreciate bad screenwriting as a result – but that’s a different matter entirely.

[1] It's worth mentioning Kubrick's UK-only withdrawal of Clockwork when some copycat attacks occurred back in the '70s.

The Death of Musical Appreciation

UPDATED!

At the time of writing - 11:16 PM CST - the daily IMDB poll nears its close.

The question...

With Sweeney Todd and Hairspray coming soon, which of these post-1970 musicals is your favorite?

The Top 10 votegetters (unlikely to change much before the poll closes):

1. South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut 2887 [votes] (15.3%)

2. Moulin Rouge! 2417 (12.8%)

3. Grease 1942 (10.3%)

4. My love of film does not extend to this particular genre. 1577 (8.4%)

5. The Rocky Horror Picture Show 1472 (7.8%)

6. Chicago 1100 (5.8%)

7. The Phantom of the Opera 1004 (5.3%)

8. Little Shop of Horrors 700 (3.7%)

9. Rent 677 (3.6%)

10. Cabaret 515 (2.7%)

Admittedly, I voted for Rocky Horror. I know it isn't the best of the lot, but its impact on the genre and film as a whole is weighty, and I'd be lying if I pretended the damn thing didn't still give a rush anytime I put it on.

Had I been playing based on quality (i.e. a film that rocked & raised the bar), my vote would've gone to either Moulin Rouge! or Chicago. And I certainly understand why Grease is so high up there. I'm mildly surprised by Little Shop's high placing, but would never argue against it. I've still never seen either Phantom or Rent, but the fact that they made the Top 10 doesn't rattle my cage. And if you don't like Cabaret, then there's something seriously not cool about you.

Heck, I even "get" #4 - some people don't like musicals -- and given that fact, why did so many of you vote for...

SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT!?!?!

What the fuck, people? Know the box which you should tick.

Hey, I like the movie - I really do. And I long ago accepted that it was indeed a musical. But come on... Number Freaking One?? Get some perspective folks. Move away from your "everything's become so unfunny that the world's just a big joke" mentality and appreciate some beauty from time to time, even if it's in the form of an alien in fishnets or a singing plant.

The remainder of the results for those who care about such things:

Jesus Christ Superstar 493 (2.6%)
The Producers 479 (2.5%)
Newsies 388 (2.1%)
Dancer in the Dark 354 (1.9%)
All That Jazz 325 (1.7%)
Other 315 (1.7%)
1776 311 (1.6%)
Totally High School Musical! 262 (1.4%)
Tommy 261 (1.4%)
Victor/Victoria 260 (1.4%)
Hair 216 (1.1%)
Dreamgirls 172 (0.9%)
Annie 168 (0.9%)
Everyone Says I Love You 157 (0.8%)
Evita 156 (0.8%)
A Chorus Line 115 (0.6%)
8 Women 106 (0.6%)
Pennies from Heaven 42 (0.2%)

UPDATE!

Since cutting and pasting this poll off of IMDB last night, the wording of the poll has been slightly altered -- it now includes the phrase "live action".

While this absolves the poll's omission of the Disney fare Edward Copeland mentioned in the talkback, suddenly the South Park win has become all the more irritating.

Thoughts on a Dark Day

One of the tenets of The Rued Manifesto: "My faith is the belief that humanity far more often than not will do the right thing". Days like today put that faith to the test. It's also days like this that make me wince at the name of this blog. All of a sudden the gag doesn't seem so funny, so bear with me until we hit a brighter day.

The details of exactly what happened at VirginiaTech --or rather why it happened-- are still pretty sketchy. But whatever the shooter's reasoning may have been, it'll sound insane regardless of any eventual explanation. There isn't anything logical about this tragedy. I know that this person must have had big problems and attempted to solve them in all the wrong ways. This person does not represent humanity on the whole. What they did is not what most of us would do even if we had the very same problems.

I was set to go see Grindhouse this afternoon, but simply couldn't bring myself to sit through three hours of imaginary, violent mayhem. Instead I'll sit at home and know that somewhere, two people who otherwise wouldn't have much to say to each other, have been brought together over this incident and are helping ease one another's pain.

Barry Nelson

It would be hollow for me to not mention the passing of Barry Nelson, the first actor to play James Bond onscreen, given the "007 in '007" series I'm doing.

But it'd be equally shitty to pretend it's a big deal to me.

Some guy -- years ago -- gave me a crappy VHS copy of Nelson's Casino Royale that I got less than 10 minutes into before shutting off. The quality sucked. What else can I say?

Other than I'll hunt for it later today, and see if I've still got it. If so, I'll check it out from beginning to end and report back.

Maybe I'm a shithead, but you -- like 99.9% of everyone else -- consider Sean Connery the first James Bond. It's a cruel world out there...and I bet Barry Nelson figured that out a long time ago.

R.I.P., Barry. You were in The Shining....let's not split hairs.